Tuesday, July 1, 2025

Wishing

 


 I've been listening to a lot of old love songs recently.  They have simple sweet lyrics and simple, sweet music.  I find myself singing them when I'm washing my hair or folding clothes, or, sitting down at the piano, I play the tunes by ear and sing.  It makes me feel good, and sends me back to the times before this horrid present.  I forget the now and slip back 60...65...70 years into the past.  

I drove my grandmother's 1959 Dodge Custom Royal Lancer convertible down to the post office the other day.  It was restored a few years ago and runs just fine.  It's got an automatic transmission that you engage by pushing buttons. It has power windows, automatic dimming headlights, front bucket seats that swivel out for easy entry and and exit, and air conditioning.  Oh, and a honking big V-8 engine.  When it was restored, a modern sound system was installed, so I was able to listen to all the old songs.  Cruising down the highway, hardly ever another car on the road, it was easy to imagine that I was back in Eisenhower's America.  I felt if I wished hard enough, I would be.

  





 





Monday, June 23, 2025

After the fall.

 

 

When civilization has long collapsed, the Warring States era has come and gone leaving strontium-90 and cesium-137-salted ashes where once great cities stood and humanity is not even a memory, only this will remain as a reminder of the glory that was. 













Monday, June 9, 2025

When houses were affordable?


 In 1937, the median American household income was $723, the average, according to the Social Security Administration, was $890. That's with, usually, only the husband working. The inflation factor to convert that to 2025 dollars is 22.28.

In the first quarter of 2025, the median household income was  $80,610, the average $82,373. That's with, almost always, both husband and wife working.

 The houses pictured here, from a 1937 issue of Life, cost between $3,000 (upper left) and $6,000 (the two next to the bottom; the bottom house is $4,000), so between $66,840 and $133,680 in inflated dollars. In the first quarter of 2025, the average house price was $503,800.

So in 1937, if we take the average house price to be around $4,500, a house cost something like five or six times a typical family's annual income. And in 2025, a house costs roughly six times a typical family's annual income.  

What kind of amenities did houses in 1937 have?  Take a look:


Of course, a lot has changed in the country since 1937, much of it, maybe most of it, not for the better. For example, in 1937, the average house price in the Richmond district of San Francisco was around $3,500.  Today it is over $1.8 million.  So back then an ordinary working stiff could buy a home in a lovely part of the country, ride a trolley bus downtown or to the wharves to a job that paid him enough to own that house and support his family. His wife could shop at the local corner store and volunteer with the PTA and the library. His kids could walk to safe, disciplined schools that actually taught math and science, history and literature. On his days off he could take his family to Golden Gate Park or other safe and enjoyable parts of the city. Without owning a car. Today?  He couldn't afford a house within two hours of San Francisco, and that would be with his wife working. The schools he can afford for his kids are pointless, violent child warehouses.  He needs a car, and so does his wife, not only to get to work, but also just to get groceries. And crime....

Now you may say that there are still plenty of affordable housing areas in the country, and no doubt there are.  But are they in delightful areas by the ocean or a lake with lovely mountain views? Are they crime free with excellent schools? Are they close to cultural amenities like world-class museums, concert halls, theaters? Are there plentiful, well-paying jobs within a short bus-ride (a safe, clean bus ride)? Are there corner stores and shops within walking distance of home the wife can visit daily for fresh foods for her family?

Are they? Are there?





Sunday, June 8, 2025

The first god

Some claim the origin of song
was a war cry.
Some say it was a rhyme
telling the farmers when to plant and reap.
Don't they know the first song was a lullaby
pulled from a mother's sleep?

 

 








Happy Days!

 

And what is so rare as a day in June?
Then, if ever, come perfect days;
Then Heaven tries earth if it be in tune,
And over it softly her warm ear lays;
Whether we look, or whether we listen,
We hear life murmur, or see it glisten.
Now is the high-tide of the year,
And whatever of life hath ebbed away
Comes flooding back with a ripply cheer.
 We may shut our eyes but we cannot help knowing
That skies are clear and grass is growing.
 Joy comes, grief goes, we know not how;
Everything is happy now.

 ― James Russell Lowell 

 


  


 

 

 

Saturday, June 7, 2025

Depends on your enemy

 

A Ranger SBD dive bomber flying over a Norwegian fjord.


The USS Ranger spent almost all its wartime career in the Atlantic and Mediterranean, blasting targets from French Morocco  to Norway. Winston Churchill requested it reinforce the British Indian Ocean fleet after the Japanese obliterated it, but Admiral King refused. It sank the French battleship Jean Bart during Operation Torch. The Germans claimed to have sunk it four times, but it never suffered a scratch from enemy action, and its fighters and dive bombers cut a wide swath through the enemy.  While hunting off  Norway, sinking tens of thousands of tons of German shipping, Churchill personally requested she be withdrawn. The Brits were afraid she'd sink the Tirpitz before they did. Notice in the photo to the left how happy and carefree her pilots are.  No worries have they!
Why did the Ranger spend its time in the Atlantic?  Because it was considered too slow and vulnerable to risk being deployed in the Pacific against the Japanese, who were a most formidable foe, fierce, fanatic and fatalistic.  They expected to die in the war and intended to take you with them.
Now look at the photo to the lower right.  It's of pilots in the ready room of the USS HornetThey don't look so happy.  These men faced the Japanese, battling them at Midway and during the Guadalcanal campaign.  The Hornet was sunk in fierce fighting during the Battle of Santa Cruz, less than a year into the Pacific War.  They had reason to be glum.
In the photo directly below, pilots about to set off on a mission against the Japanese listen to a reading from the Bible and pray together, recognizing that there is a good chance they won't come back, and if they are shot down, survive and are captured by the Japanese, they will need all the strength God can provide them to endure the ordeal they will face.
What verse were they reading?  That's lost in time.  But perhaps Romans 5:3~5:
"We glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; and perseverance, character; and character, hope."
What verse do you think they were reading?  It's far enough back in the book that it might be something from Revelations, perhaps 19:11 --
"I saw heaven standing open and there before me was a white horse, whose rider is called Faithful and True. With justice he judges and makes war."
Or perhaps it was 21:4 --
"He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away." 

Hornet dying under the blows of the Japanese.


 

 

 

 

 

Friday, June 6, 2025

Tattoos and ... things

We were sitting outside idling the day away and my mind, unhinged as usual, became filled with stray thoughts. I don't have any tattoos and I began wondering if I got one, what should it be?  I asked el jefe and he studied me thoughtfully, then said he believed a tattoo of Woody Woodpecker smoking a cigar would fit me perfectly. My uncle, who was visiting us (yes, that uncle) corrected him, saying that the bird was not Mr. Woodpecker but Mr. Horsepower, the logo of a performance auto parts shop. 

Why would people tattoo the logo of an auto parts shop on themselves, I asked.  They both shrugged.  My uncle suggested I should get a tattoo of Betty Boop.  While he and el jefe discussed whether Ms Boop should be posing in a cocktail glass or astride a motorcycle, I wondered why so much of popular culture, whether candy bars or cartoons, originated in the 1920s and1930s. I guess it was America's coming of age era, when it by then had developed and matured its own distinct culture and history with unique musical, architectural, culinary and literary styles among other things.  You  could grab a hamburger and a Coke, then go to the movies and watch a Walt Disney cartoon, see a western shoot-em-up with Tom Mix and his wonder horse Tony while munching on a Baby Ruth.  Afterwards, you could take the elevator to the top floor of a skyscraper to someplace called the Madhattan Room to dance the Lindy Hop to the swinging jive of Woody Herman or Kay Kaiser.

While I was drifting down Merry Melody Lane, imagining myself dressed in something clingy by Madeleine Vionnet, debating whether I should practice my Greta Garbo or Mae West persona when Glen Miller asked me to take a ride in his Buick to go watch the midnight submarine races, el jefe and my uncle decided that I should have a large tattoo on my back of copulating cartoon pigs with the slogan "Makin' bacon," I asked what happened to Betty Boop?  I like Betty Boop.  She's who I would be if I were a 1930s cartoon. Certainly not Clarabelle Cow.  They shrugged again. I nixed the swinish suggestion.

The men then began discussing camshafts for some reason and I thought about the name Betty.  Why was it once so popular?  There was Betty Boop, of course, but also Betty Rubble, Betty Crocker, Bettie Page, Bette Davis, Bette Midler, Betty Grable, Betty Hutton, Betty White, Betty Ford, Betty, Betty, Betty. I don't care all that much for the name. No reason, I just don't.  I have a good friend named Gwen...Gwendolyn...and I like that name. Always have.  I wondered if I like the name because I like my friend or I like her because I like the name.  Silly?  But what if she had a name I hated, like Bertha, Mildred or Gertrude? Would I even have bothered to have gotten to know her?

My newest, who had been amusing himself on the ground, climbed up into my lap ready for chow so I unbuttoned my blouse and he giggled and latched on with a will. Both men stopped talking and looked away.  It's funny how guys will obsess over boobs and pay money to have a girl show them hers, but when they see one being used for its purpose they get embarrassed. Or maybe they are just being polite.  I don't know.

Of course, as soon as the future emperor of the world was done nursing he pooped. I got a fresh diaper out of my baby bag and began changing him. As I was cleaning him, he got an erection (nothing sexual about it; it's just a boy baby thing).  I knew what was coming so I was quick to try to cover him but not quick enough as he began fountaining pee over me, a contented smile on his face.  When that happened with my first boy, I didn't know what was coming, leaned over him wondering why he had gotten an erection and he peed in the face. 

I heard laughter and looked over to see both guys watching me.  I made a face at them.

My mother, who had been working in the rose garden, came around the corner brushing something off her sleeve and saw us.  She marched over and stood between me and the two guys, glowering first at them, then at me.  "Wanda, you cover yourself right now.  What do you think you are doing?"  She picked up my baby and rocked him. I heard el jefe mutter "Here we go." I could have explained but I just pointed to the baby bag then held my fingers to my nose.   She'd been there in her time so she understood.

"Well, you could be more modest, you know," she said.

"Oh, it's just el jefe and...."

"Even so." And she glared daggers at both men, who looked like little boys being scolded by their grandma.

 Why don't you join us, mom?  Have some ice tea."

"Well, I will, but I have to wash up first.  You close your blouse, Wanda.  You hear?" she said as she handed me my baby, his arms stretched out for me. She went into the house.  I stuck my tongue out at her back. 

My baby, seeing the cafeteria still open, snuggled against me and began nursing again.  The sun was warm, the sun was bright, the sun felt wonderful on my skin. My baby tugged at my breast, my other one began leaking. I had breast pads in my baby bag but it was too far to reach without disturbing his lordship so I let it go.  I would have to change later anyway. After a few minutes, I decided to switch him to the other breast, pushing open my blouse so he could reach it. I left the other one exposed, wanting to get some UV rays on it. I closed my eyes, enjoying the warmth, feeling the little one tugging on my nipple, pushing the breast with his hands.

I heard glasses clink and unc say, "You're a lucky man, Jeff. What a set!" I opened my eyes to see both men looking at me as el jefe was saying, "They're especially big when she is nursing; they're full of milk." I was tempted to say, "Are either of you boys hungry?" But I didn't.  While thinking what goofs men were to be mesmerized by the sight of boobs, I realized that I enjoyed their gaze, liked letting them see. I smiled at them and el jefe raised his glass to me.

I looked up at the blue sky and racing clouds high up.  Saw barn swallows circling and zooming. Heard a dove coo. I felt a slow rush of pleasant happiness sweep over me. Somehow, somewhere, I heard a lute playing, something I somehow knew but had never heard before.

My uncle said, "I should go." and el jefe said, "No, stay. When that boy grows up you can tell him about the time you saw him suck on Wanda's tits, take a shit, get a hard-on and then piss on her." 

 "I'll wait till he introduces his prom date to me."

I heard a door slam as my mother came back outside. "Wandaaaa!"

I pulled my blouse over my stupid boob and tried to cover the one my boy was using.  He unlatched and began possetting. 



If I were emperor of the world
And master of all cities
I’d pass a law to keep the girls
From covering their titties.
     
 ~ George Yesthal

 

 

 











Monday, June 2, 2025

Time

 


 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  

The Last Things I'll Remember

by Joyce Sutphen

The partly open hay barn door, white frame around the darkness,
the broken board, small enough for a child
to slip through.

Walking in the cornfields in late July, green tassels overhead,
the slap of flat leaves as we pass, silent
and invisible from any road.

Hollyhocks leaning against the stucco house, peonies heavy
as fruit, drooping their deep heads
on the dog house roof.

Lilac bushes between the lawn and the woods,
a tractor shifting from one gear into
the next, the throttle opened,

the smell of cut hay, rain coming across the river,
the drone of the hammer mill,
milk machines at dawn. 

 


Elegy for a Walnut Tree

by W. S. Merwin

Old friend now there is no one alive
who remembers when you were young
it was high summer when I first saw you
in the blaze of day most of my life ago
with the dry grass whispering in your shade
and already you had lived through wars
and echoes of wars around your silence
through days of parting and seasons of absence
with the house emptying as the years went their way
until it was home to bats and swallows
and still when spring climbed toward summer
you opened once more the curled sleeping fingers
of newborn leaves as though nothing had happened
you and the seasons spoke the same language
and all these years I have looked through your limbs
to the river below and the roofs and the night
and you were the way I saw the world 

 

 Grandma's Grave

by Freya Manfred

Mother and I brush long drifts of snow from the gravestones
of my great grandfather and grandmother, great uncle and aunt,
two of mother's brothers, each less than a year old,
and her last-born brother, George Shorba, dead at sixteen:
1925-1942
A Mastermind. My Beloved Son.
But we can't find the grave of Grandma, who buried all the rest.

Mother stands dark-browed and musing, under the pines,
and I imagine her as a child, wondering why her mother
left home so often to tend the sick, the dying, the dead.
Borrowing a shovel, she digs, until she uncovers:
1889-1962
Mary Shorba
Mother almost never cries, but she does now. She stares
at this stone as if it were the answer to all the hidden things. 

 


 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Friday, May 30, 2025

Joan of Arc

 

Joan of Arc was burned at the stake for heresy in Rouen, France, on this date in 1431 during the Hundred Years War between France and England. When she was still a teenager, she heard the voice of God telling her to help defeat the English. At the battle of Orleans, she led the French army bearing a flag with Jesus' name written across it, and the English were defeated. She continued fighting battles until May 23, 1430, when she was captured by enemy soldiers. They turned her over to the Catholic church to be tried as a heretic, idolater, and sorcerer. Her enemies believed that the only way they could have lost in battle to a woman was if she had used witchcraft.

Her trial lasted for months. The judges hoped to trick her into saying something that would incriminate her as a witch or an idolater, so they asked endless questions about all aspects of her life. They were especially interested in her childhood. Because the transcripts of the trial were recorded, we know more about her early life than any other person of her time.

Joan testified that she first started hearing divine voices when she was 13 while working in her father's garden. When God commanded her to join the battle against the English, she told her parents she was going to help her cousin deliver a baby. The judges asked her if she felt guilty for leaving her parents, and she said, "Since God commanded it, had I had a hundred fathers and a hundred mothers, had I been born a king's daughter, I should have departed."

When she wasn't being interrogated, she was chained to a wooden block in a dungeon cell. After months of questioning, she was told that if she didn't sign a confession, she would be put to death. She finally signed it, but a few days later she renounced the confession, and on this day in 1431, she was burned at the stake. She was 19 years old.

Here is a retelling of the story in a "you are there" radio news format as part of the series CBS Is There, aired over CBS radio on February 28, 1947. The lead "reporter" is real newsman John Daly. Daly was the first to report the attack on Pearl Harbor and the death of President Franklin Roosevelt. He was in Italy and reported Gen. George Patton's slapping of soldiers suffering from what today we would call PTSD. In 1959, he was in Moscow and reported on the famous "kitchen debate" between Richard Nixon and Nikita Krushchev.

 








Sunday, May 25, 2025

Memorial Day on Guam

 Every Memorial Day, 3,055 flags are placed at Asan Memorial Beach Park in Guam to commemorate each individual civilian and serviceman who was killed during the Japanese invasion, occupation, and American liberation of the Island where America's day begins. The Third Marine Division landed at Asan on July 21, 1944, ferried ashore by 180 armored landing vehicles, 20 of which were destroyed by enemy artillery fire before they made the beach. The Marines then assaulted the dug-in Japanese troops who occupied the high ground you can see in the video.
The Army 77th Division attacked Agat.
During the ensuing 21 days of fighting, 1,866 American marines and soldiers were killed, mostly during the first week of the invasion, when Japanese resistance was strongest.

Same gun (?) many decades later.

A Japanese six-inch battery on Chonito Cliff, 
Asan beachhead, Guam, after the battle.

Asan was also where a field hospital was set up, once the area was believed cleared of the enemy and safe. Japanese troops regrouped and attacked it, shooting doctors and nurses, bayoneting  patients in their beds before being driven out.


 The Japanese had behaved horrifically to Guamanians during  their occupation, as they did in most of the lands they conquered, so much so that even today, 81 years later, Liberation Day is celebrated island-wide on Guam.  The Japanese forced essentially all the  men on Guam to be slave labor, an estimated 15,000 persons, to build airfields and defensive positions.  They routinely raped women and children.  They massacred dozens of Chamorros, the native Guamanians, in  Fena, Merizo, Agat, and Yigo.

The Fena caves where one of the most rotten mass killings took place is on Big Navy and I've visited the site.  It's hard to imagine what sick bastards the Japanese were.  Here's a recounting of the episode from Guampedia. Please check it out.

Fena Massacre

 

This is actually a commemoration on Guam of the
Battle of Midway that occurs a week or so after
Memorial Day.  But it shows how important the
events of the war against Japan still are in
that part of the world.
The photo was taken some years ago. Who's that
little girl crying because she doesn't want to
stand in the hot sun by all those stupid flags?
As I've mentioned, I spent a lot of my childhood in Japan, and, by and large, the Japanese seemed like fine, decent people.  But when I learned of the monstrous things they did in China and during the Pacific War and have gotten away with; in fact being seen as victims (oh, please!) of the evil, racist Americans...I couldn't help but look at them with an estimating eye. One may smile and smile and be a villain said Hamlet about King Claudius and so it may be said, we should not forget, about the Japanese.  

The Chamorros don't forget, even though their island, a bit bigger than Santa Catalina Island off the coast of southern California, is inundated with hundreds of thousands of Japanese tourists annually. We shouldn't either.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Friday, May 16, 2025

Nothing much

 


The more I read various posts and comments on Substack and elsewhere, the more I realize how little in common I have with these writers and maybe most of the rest of society.  This is not a new conclusion so much as it is a reinforced one.  As an armed services brat (born, raised and transferred), I grew up mostly overseas and so lived a life far from that of a normal American.  
US military bases in Japan.

I was left out of most of the cultural references and key social highlights of a typical person of my generation. I didn't see the TV shows -- never saw an episode of Friends or South Park or Sex in the City -- only heard a selection of the popular songs of the day, certainly didn't hear anything out of the Top 40, especially not anything niche, localized or otherwise appealing to a limited audience, never saw the the TV commercials that everybody liked or hated -- the Geico caveman, Donald Trump and Pizza Hut -- wasn't aware of the political squabbles or the politicians and political commenters involved, didn't participate in the fads and fashions of people my age in the States -- I never planked or wore skinny jeans under my dress or sported a whale tail, never wore fake nerd glasses and posted selfies of myself, hands raised, fingers curled like claws, with the caption "Rawr!" I never used L33T speak, never even heard of it. I did used to tYpE lIkE *t*H*i*S oN y*A*h*O*o  I*M W*i*T*h mY ¡hOmE! ¡cReW! And I used Yahoo audibles with enthusiasm and frequency -- this one below left was my favorite. But that's about it.

I wasn't really from anywhere and had no hometown. But I had lived in lots of places -- Misawa, Yokosuka, Atsugi, Sasebo in Japan, Sigonella, Gaeta and Naples in Italy, Souda Bay, Crete, Rota, Spain, Guam, plus Whidbey Island and North Island.... One year, I went to 11 different schools.  "Class, this is our newest member. Go ahead, introduce yourself."  "Thank you, Miss Gump. My name is Wanda and...." -- out comes the Shepherd's crook and I'm jerked away to another school maybe in another country, maybe on the other side of the world.

I learned to shut up about all that when I settled stateside to finish high school, the same as I learned not to mention I was fluent in Japanese. The other kids thought I was lying or just weird. "Wait, what? You've climbed Mt. Etna and Mt Fuji? And skied both the Italian and Japanese alps? Oh, sure you have!" (belly punch)

Then in the service myself it was more time overseas, often in the same places I grew up in and in some cases where my parents and grandparents on both sides, they having been in the service, too, also lived. My grandfather was stationed at Atsugi, as was my father, and as was I, and now my little girl has, not been stationed (yet), but lived there, too. At one point, I served aboard the same aircraft carrier as my father had.

Another grandfather, in the Air Force in the 1950s, lived with his family in Washington Heights, the American housing complex in Tokyo located where the 1964 Olympic Stadium and Yoyogi Park are today. Before we Americans took it over, it was a Japanese Army Air Force facility; in fact, it was where the first airplane ever flew in Japan.

 I once saw an old Mainichi Graphic, a sort of clone of the picture magazine Life, that they had saved that had published a picture of them barbecuing in their back yard. The photo was taken through a chain link fence with a telephoto lens.  The caption read that American military in Japan were so poor that their houses didn't even have kitchens so they were forced to cook outside.  

That photo was a lesson to me in how people willfully misunderstand each other and willfully spread those misunderstandings to denigrate others and assert their own superiority.  In this particular case, the Japanese author of the story could simply have asked American military public relations to explain what was happening in the photograph and written about American customs and pastimes unfamiliar to Japanese.  But he didn't do that.  He wrote negatively about Americans to assure his Japanese readers that they were superior to these foreigners polluting their homeland.

I've walked around that area of Harajuku and Yoyogi and probably have been in the same spot or near it where the house my grandfather lived in back in the early 1950s once stood. 

I come from a long
line of service members
and their brats.
Anyway, growing up I was familiar with all the cool places to hang out in Catania in Sicily or where not to venture in Naples, or where that crashed F4U from World War Two is on Big Navy, Guam, or which trains to take from Sagami-otsuka to get to Nikko, bicycled downhill from the base gate to Rota town, gobbled up trabancos in Jerez de la Frontera, saw the monkeys on the Rock at Gibraltar, wandered around the palace at Knossos, hiked  down to the Grotta del Turco at Montagna Spaccata and so on and on.  But I had never been to New York City or New Orleans or Chicago or the Grand Canyon or....  The only America I knew was some dumb ranch and environs in Montana that I flew to, seeing only the airports in EWR, LAX or SFO.

Phi Gamma Delta. Stupid wars.

"So," you might say, "you were a citizen of the world, at home wherever you found yourself."  Uh.... No.  What I was was a citizen of nowhere, an alien outsider wherever I went.  The perpetual one who did not belong. Ask any brat.


You might think that I am bragging to mention all these foreign places, but I'm not.  Transferring from one duty station to another was just ordinary life, and while outside the gate the world was different, inside it one Navy base was pretty much like any other, with an MWR, NEX, fast-food franchise, commissary, movie theater, base housing, office buildings, hangers or port facilities looking the same, painted the same, in Guam as Japan as Spain as Italy as Greece.  But once in a stateside civilian high school, I learned that what was normal to me was seen merely as boasting so I kept quiet.

For a while, I suffered pangs of homesickness and wished I was back aboard a Navy base in a foreign land.  Homesick for a stupid Navy base? Are you brain damaged? Get out of here! No, really, I was.  Brats will understand, not you slacker landlubbers.

So what's all this blabbering leading up to?  Not that much, just the realization that still, and I guess always, I will be alienated from the American mainstream, not quite a foreigner, maybe more like an out-of-phase American.  

There are lots of stories of the dumb things I did when I first settled in as a civilian.  At the time, they weren't dumb to me.  It was just that I didn't know the correct protocol, didn't understand what things to do and not do, how the ... well, it doesn't matter.  I almost lost my life twice because I didn't understand there were no-go zones in American cities, or that a female should not be out alone too early in the morning or too late at night even in supposedly safe areas. 

You say that doesn't matter? Of course, it did then.  I was shocked and terribly frightened. But it's in the past and I learned that in some ways and in some places, America is  no country at all. It's a land before civilization. I didn't .... It got too much for me.  It really did. So as soon as I could, although I never thought I would, and when fate stepped in, I put on a uniform and escaped. And when fate stepped in again, I took it off.

Am I complaining about my childhood and I should just put a sock in it?  Well, the latter is always good advice in any circumstance, but I'm not really complaining so much as noting and evaluating how growing up as I did has influenced who I am as an adult.  I'm not a nowhere (wo)man sitting in my nowhere land, as the song has it, but I'm familiar with the feeling.

Bottom line, when I read others' personal accounts of life in these United States I feel like a stranger in a, not strange, but unfamiliar land that I thought was my own, my native land.  It is, but the people in it are not quite mine. Or I am not quite theirs.








Tuesday, May 13, 2025

Santa Ana lover

When I was in southern California, I liked the nights when the Santa Ana winds blew.  The breeze was like black velvet sliding across my skin. The air was so warm and dry it felt like, walking outside, that you didn't need to wear any clothes at all.  But in the clothes you did wear, you didn't sweat, even if the temperature in that deep dark was 90 degrees.  Oh, your body would perspire but the moisture would evaporate as soon as it left your pores so it was as if you didn't.

I remember skateboarding fast down 28th Street in San Pedro one night during a late September Santa Ana with views of the harbor, all the lights of the cranes loading and unloading container ships, wearing nothing but cut-offs, a tee shirt scissored off at the midriff and chucks, the wind bouncing off the hill and houses, my hair flying behind me, my arms stretched out at my sides like wings, screeching a right turn at Pacific and coasting with the wind pushing me a dozen blocks to road's end, land's end, at the parking lot where my lime green Mustang GT convertible was, stepping off the board and flipping it up, walking to the edge of the cliff and gazing out across the sea at the lights of Avalon and Two Harbors on Catalina, the wind rushing past me. I felt if I jumped the wind would lift me up and I would soar like a kite.

But I didn't jump.  Instead, I hopped in my car, put the top down and sped north in the fast lane on the Harbor freeway, then the Glendale, towards the mountains where the gale was born, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn, Dick Dale, Jan and Dean, the Beach Boys...musty, moldy, golden oldies from the groove yard of the past, the devil wind curling into the passenger seat beside me and caressing my cheek, kissing my ear, whispering secrets.

 

In Chandler Country

California night. The Devil's wind,
the Santa Ana, blows in from the east,
raging through the canyons like a drunk
screaming in a bar.
                              The air tastes like
a stubbed-out cigarette. But why complain?
The weather's fine as long as you don't breathe.
Just lean back on the sweat-stained furniture,
lights turned out, windows shut against the storm,
and count your blessings.
                                          Another sleepless night,
when every wrinkle in the bed sheet scratches
like a dry razor on a sunburned cheek,
when even ten-year whiskey tastes like sand,
and quiet women in the kitchen run
their fingers on the edges of a knife
and eye their husbands' necks. I wish them luck.

Tonight it seems that if I took the coins
out of my pocket and tossed them in the air
they'd stay a moment glistening like a net
slowly falling through dark water.
                                                        I remember
the headlights of the cars parked on the beach,
the narrow beams dissolving on the dark
surface of the lake, voices arguing
about the forms, the crackling radio,
the sheeted body lying on the sand,
the trawling net still damp beside it. No,
she wasn't beautiful - but at that age
when youth itself becomes a kind of beauty --
"Taking good care of your clients, Marlowe?"

Relentlessly the wind blows on. Next door
catching a scent, the dogs begin to howl.
Lean, furious, raw-eyed from the storm,
packs of coyotes come down from the hills
where there is nothing left to hunt.

"In Chandler Country" by Dana Gioia

 The Santa Ana air does not taste like a stubbed out cigarette.  It tastes like chaparral, chamise and California lilac, and I loved breathing it.

 


 


 

 

 

 

 

 

Friday, May 9, 2025

Dolton, Illinois

 Considering that the new pope hails from Dolton, Ill., I thought I'd repost my blog entry from May 12, 2023.  I'd thought about reposting it before when the mayor of Dolton was in the news for what I read somewhere is called being mayor while black.

Re-reading this piece and trying to imagine what it was like for the upright citizens of the suburb, I thought of a civilized people being attacked by encroaching barbarians.  Their own brave warriors were able to fend off the initial, probing attacks for a while, but eventually they were overwhelmed  and forced to flee, leaving all behind, all which the barbarians, being barbarians, could not maintain and ruined.

Anyway, here it is:

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Happy days in Dolton
Digging through a bunch of old papers and other junk in a store room, I came across a cache of photos from my relative the news man's early days as a police beat reporter.  I've written about him before, how he never intended to get into the news business but planned to be a journeyman printer with his own shop, but because he knew how to touch type, when he was drafted, the army put him to work on a division newspaper and that, ultimately, led to a 40-year career in the news biz, mostly newspapers, but also radio and television. He got to hang out with people like Len O'Connor and Mike Royko.

Anyway, one of the stories he told me about his early days working the cop news on the south side of Chicago and the suburbs in that area was how blacks would prey on the businesses and homes of such bedroom towns as Riverdale, Dolton, South Holland, Harvey and others in that area.  These towns when he reported on them in the early 1970s were pleasant white communities enjoying a solid middle-class life thanks to all the nearby factories and steel mills that provided  employment at good wages.

Each town had its own police force, which diligently kept the peace and enforced the law.  Of course, the homeowners were peaceable and law-abiding.  It was the outsiders who raided to loot and rob who had to be guarded against.  My relative told me of how when you called the cops they responded immediately to a break-in, burglary, armed robbery, whatever it was, and they would pursue the felon no matter what until they got him. Since each town's cops only had jurisdiction in their community, they would hand off a hot pursuit of a perp to the next town's cops as the bad guy fled through them.  The Cook County Sheriff's Dept. would also join in the pursuit, as would the Illinois State Police.  He told me of several such chases in which multiple police cars were wrecked, one, in which, if memory serves, 14 police cars crashed chasing a bad guy, and another where the bad guy crashed into a gas station fuel pump, which exploded in a huge fireball.  But they did get the bad guy.  And usually alive, without gunplay.  And, he said, regarding fleeing felons, never mind what the judge would hand them, the cops would tune them up on the spot.  Only then would they face a judge.

Anyway the second, here are some photos of his that I thought were interesting illustrations of those days.  Most of the photos in his archive, if I may call it that, are just negatives, only a few prints.  So I only had a handful to select from.

This one on the left looks like a press conference with cops...I don't know.  But what interests me is the uniforms and the hair styles, and that guy in the background who looks like a Weegee-type news photog. He's even wearing a trench coat!  Note the photo of President Nixon, which fixes it in time.

The photo on the right is of a cop dusting for fingerprints after a burglary.  Thieves climbed up on the roof of the building and cut a hole in it and climbed down into the business to rob it but the alarms went off and the cops were on the bad guys like that.  Note the policeman is armed with a revolver.  Probably an old reliable Smith & Wesson .38.  And I bet should he have ever had to use it, he would have administered a pistol whipping, not emptied the cylinder.  Those times were far less shooty than today. Maybe that's because the police were more respected in those days, even by criminals, and cops had the authority and backing for what they needed to do on the spot, and were certain that any bad guys they nabbed would do hard time.

This photo on the left shows the end of one of those epic car chases, ending as they usually did with the perp crashing his stolen car, and the cops swarming him and hauling his sorry ass off to the calaboose.  It looks like a Cook County Sheriff's Department deputy and an Illinois state trooper were in on this bust.  I think the car is a Lincoln, but I'm not sure.  Usually the bad guys stole Cadillacs or Lincolns.

To the right is a photo of the Cook County Sheriff Department deputy pictured above left counting the recovered loot the robber got.  It would be cataloged and then returned to the store keeper, sometimes the very same day.  They didn't dawdle back then and the red tape was minimal.  Crook robs, cops catch, your money returned, crook goes to the slammer.  

Now this photo below is different.  It shows a neighborhood get-together in suburban Dolton in 1973.  The back of the photo says "pet parade."  I suppose it was a kind of street party where neighbors would gather with their pets and enjoy a nice time together.  I've colorized it to bring out just how pleasant and enjoyable it must have been, with lots of families, lots of children, lots of dogs -- and, you will notice, everybody is white.  It was Leave It to Beaver land for real, prosperous, safe, peaceful and pleasant.


Today, the factories and steel mills have long since closed and Dolton is more than 92 percent black and just barely 5 percent white, mostly elderly who can't afford to move. It's plagued by crime, drugs, gangs and street violence.  Here's a photo I found from a Sun-Times article about Dolton in 2022:

The photo, taken by Anthony Vazquez, shows Martin Luther King Blvd in Dolton.  The story says the suburb is like a ghost town with abandoned stores and buildings infested with druggies and the homeless.  A crime stats website describes Dolton today thusly:

"Dolton has an overall crime rate of 7,484 per 100,000 residents. This is one of the most dangerous regions in the United States. This means that your chances of becoming a victim of any type of crime in Dolton is 1 in 13 if you reside there for a year."

Dolton, Ill. Crime Rates

A couple of more end of police chase photos.  The bad guys never got away and never got far.  Too bad about those stolen Cadillacs: