Tuesday, March 8, 2022

Who needs electricity?



 I often dream of going back in time to some favorite imagined time period far from the appalling and incomprehensible present, back to somewhen pleasant and understandable.  It's a common enough revierie -- Willoughby! Willoughby!  Next stop Willoughby!  But I've never contemplated going back farther than about, say, the beginning of the Big Band era.  Eighty-odd years ago I could still have a flush toilet, hot and cold running water, shower and bath,  central heating, refrigerator, electric stove and oven, canned and frozen foods, a nice car, a telephone, radio and record player, go to the movies, book flights on an airline or luxurious Pullman train car.

But others have said phooey to all that.  They don't want all that complication.  They want to go back to an even simpler life, one before the days of electricity and all the muddles of the modern world. The real horse-and-buggy days.  

Fredric Brown wrote an interesting story, now out of copyright, about how that era might come again.  Born in 1906, he was old enough to have heard stories from his parents, or at least his grandparents and other old-timers, about what the world was like in the days before electricity.  It sounds attractive, although I am not entirely convinced that I would enjoy or fit in to such a world.  Things people used to hate with a passion as curses of the then-modern world I like too much to give up.  But maybe those folks were right.  This story almost convinces me that they were.

Anyway, here's the yarn.  What do you think?  Would you like what happens in it?

 Originally published in the January, 1945, issue of Astounding Science Fiction.

THE WAVERIES By Fredric Brown

Definitions from the school-abridged Webster-Hamlin Dictionary 1998 edition: wavery (WA-ver-i) n. a vader-slang vader (VA-der) n. inorgan of the class Radio inorgan (in-OR-gan) n. noncorporeal ens, vader radio(RA-di-o) n. 1. class of inorgans 2. etheric frequency between light and electricity 3. (obsolete) method of communication used up to 1977.

The opening guns of invasion were not at all loud, although they were heard by millions of people. George Bailey was one of the millions. I choose George Bailey because he was the only one who came within a googol of light-years of guessing what they were. George Bailey was drunk and under the circumstances one can’t blame him for being so. He was listening to radio advertisements of the most nauseous kind. Not because he wanted to listen to them, I hardly need say, but because he’d been told to listen to them by his boss, J. R. McGee of the MID network. George Bailey wrote advertising for the radio. The only thing he hated worse than advertising was radio. And here on his own time he was listening to fulsome and disgusting commercials on a rival network. 

“Bailey,” J. R. McGee had said, “you should be more familiar with what others are doing. Particularly, you should be informed about those of our own accounts who use several networks. I strongly suggest . . ."

One doesn’t quarrel with an employer’s strong suggestions and keep a five hundred dollar a week job. But one can drink whisky sours while listening. George Bailey did. Also, between commercials, he was playing gin rummy with Maisie Hetterman, a cute little redheaded typist from the studio. It was Maisie’s apartment and Maisie’s radio (George himself, on principle, owned neither a radio nor a TV set) but George had brought the liquor. “--only the very finest tobaccos,” said the radio, “go dit-dit-dit nation’s favorite cigarette--“ 

George glanced at the radio. “Marconi,” he said. 

He meant Morse, naturally, but the whisky sours had muddled him a bit so his first guess was more nearly right than anyone else’s. It was Marconi, in a way. In a very peculiar way. 

“Marconi?” asked Maisie. 

George, who hated to talk against a radio, leaned over and switched it off. “I meant Morse,” he said. “Morse, as in Boy Scouts or the Signal Corps. I used to be a Boy Scout once.” 

“You’ve sure changed,” Maisie said. 

George sighed. “Somebody’s going to catch hell, broadcasting code on that wave length.” 

“What did it mean?” 

“Mean? Oh, you mean what did it mean. Uh-- S, the letter S. Dit-dit-dit is S. SOS is did-dit-dit dah-dah-dah dit--dit-dit.” 

“O is dah-dah-dah?” 

George grinned. “Say that again, Maisie. I like it. And I think you are dah-dah-dah too.” 

“George, maybe it’s really an SOS message. Turn it back on.” 

George turned it back on. The tobacco ad was still going. “-- gentlemen of the most dit-dit-dit-ing taste prefer the finer taste of dit-dit-dit-arettes. In the new package that keeps them dit-dit-dit and ultra fresh--“ 

“It’s not SOS. It’s just S’s.” 

“Like a teakettle or--say, George, maybe it’s just some advertising gag.” 

George shook his head. “Not when it can blank out the name of the product. Just a minute till I--“ He reached over and turned the dial of the radio a bit to the right and then a bit to the left, and an incredulous look came into his face. He turned the dial to the extreme left, as far as it would go. There wasn’t any station there, not even the hum of a carrier wave. 

But:“Dit-dit-dit,” said the radio, “dit-dit-dit.” He turned the dial to the extreme right. “Dit-dit-dit.” George switched it off and stared at Maisie without seeing her, which was hard to do. 

“Something wrong, George?” 

“I hope so,” said George Bailey. “I certainly hope so.” He started to reach for another drink and changed his mind. He had a sudden hunch that something big was happening and he wanted to sober up to appreciate it. He didn’t have the faintest idea how big it was. 

“George, what do you mean?” 

“I don’t know what I mean. But Maisie, let’s take a run down the studio, huh? There ought to be some excitement.” 

April 5, 1977; that was the night the waveries came. 

It had started like an ordinary evening. It wasn’t one, now. George and Maisie waited for a cab but none came so they took the subway instead. Oh yes, the subways were still running in those days. It took them within a block of the MID Network Building. The building was a madhouse. George, grinning, strolled through the lobby with Maisie on his arm, took the elevator to the fifth floor and for no reason at all gave the elevator boy a dollar. He’d never before in his life tipped an elevator operator. The boy thanked him. 

“Better stay away from the big shots, Mr. Bailey,” he said. “They’re ready to chew the ears off anybody who even looks at ‘em.” 

“Wonderful,” said George. From the elevator he headed straight for the office of J. R. McGee himself. There were strident voices behind the glass door. George reached for the knob and Maisie tried to stop him. 

“But George,” she whispered, “you’ll be fired!” 

“There comes a time,” said George. “Stand back away from the door, honey.” Gently but firmly he moved her to a safe position. 

“But George, what are you--?” 

“Watch,” he said. The frantic voices stopped as he opened the door a foot. All eyes turned toward him as he stuck his head around the corner of the doorway into the room. “Dit-dit-dit,” he said. “Dit-dit-dit.” He ducked back and to the side just in time to escape the flying glass as a paperweight and an inkwell came through the pane of the door. He grabbed Maisie and ran for the stairs. “Now we get a drink,” he told her. 

The bar across the street from the network building was crowded but it was a strangely silent crowd. In deference to the fact that most of its customers were radio people it didn’t have a TV set but there was a big cabinet radio and most of the people were bunched around it. 

“Dit,” said the radio. “Dit-dah-d’dah-dit-da-dit-dah-dit--“ 

“Isn’t it beautiful?” George whispered to Maisie. Somebody fiddled with the dial. Somebody asked, “What band is that?” and somebody said, “Police.” Somebody said, “Try the foreign band,” and somebody did. “This ought to be Buenos Aires,” somebody said. “Dit-d’dah-dit--“ said the radio. Somebody ran fingers through his hair and said, “Shut that damn thing off.” Somebody else turned it back on. George grinned and led the way to a back booth where he’d spotted Pete Mulvaney sitting alone with a bottle in front of him. 

He and Maisie sat across from Pete. “Hello,” he said gravely. 

“Hell,” said Pete, who was head of the technical research staff of MID. 

“A beautiful night, Mulvaney,” George said. “Did you see the moon riding the fleecy clouds like a golden galleon tossed upon silver-crested whitecaps in a stormy--“ 

“Shut up,” said Pete. “I’m thinking.” 

“Whisky sours,” George told the waiter. He turned back to the man across the table. “Think out loud, so we can hear. But first, how did you escape the booby hatch across the street?” 

“I’m bounced, fired, discharged.” 

“Shake hands. And then explain. Did you say dit-dit-dit to them?” 

Pete looked at him with sudden admiration. “Did you?” 

“I’ve a witness. What did you do?” 

“Told ‘em what I thought it was and they think I’m crazy.” 

“Are you?”

“Yes.” 

“Good,” said George. “Then we want to hear--“ He snapped his fingers. “What about TV?” 

“Same thing. Same sound on audio and the pictures flicker and dim with every dot or dash. Just a blur by now.” 

“Wonderful. And now tell me what’s wrong. I don’t care what it is, as long as it’s nothing trivial, but I want to know.” 

“I think it’s space. Space is warped.” 

“Good old space,” George Bailey said. 

“George,” said Maisie, “please shut up. I want to hear this.” 

“Space,” said Pete, “is also finite.” He poured himself another drink. “You go far enough in any direction and get back where you started. Like an ant crawling around an apple.” 

“Make it an orange,” George said. 

“All right, an orange. Now suppose the first radio waves ever sent out have just made the round trip. In seventy-six years.” 

“Seventy-six years? But I thought radio waves traveled at the same speed as light. If that’s right, then in seventy-six years they could go only seventy-six light-years, and that can’t be around the universe because there are galaxies known to be millions or maybe billions of light-years away. I don’t remember the figures, Pete, but our own galaxy alone is a hell of a lot bigger than seventy-six light-years.” 

Pete Mulvaney sighed. “That’s why I say space must be warped. There’s a short cut somewhere.” 

“That short a short cut? Couldn’t be.” 

“But George, listen to that stuff that’s coming in. Can you read code?” 

“Not any more. Not that fast, anyway.” 

“Well, I can,” Pete said. “That’s early American ham. Lingo and all. That’s the kind of stuff the air was full of before regular broadcasting. It’s the lingo, the abbreviations, the barnyard to attic chitchat of amateurs with keys, with Marconi coherers or Fessenden barreters--and you can listen for a violin solo pretty soon now. I’ll tell you what it’ll be.” 

“What?” 

“Handel’s Largo. The first phonograph record ever broadcast. Sent out by Fessenden from Brant Rock in late 1906. You’ll hear his CQ-CQ any minute now. Bet you a drink.” 

“Okay, but what was the dit-dit-dit that started this?” 

Mulvaney grinned. “Marconi, George. What was the most powerful signal ever broadcast and by whom and when?” 

“Marconi? Dit-dit-dit? Seventy-six years ago?” 

“Head of the class. The first transatlantic signal on December 12, 1901. For three hours Marconi’s big station at Poldhu, with two-hundred-foot masts, sent out an intermittent S, dit-dit-dit, while Marconi and two assistants at St. Johns in Newfoundland got a kite-born aerial four hundred feet in the air and finally got the signal. Across the Atlantic, George, with sparks jumping from the big Leyden jars at Poldhu and 20,000-volt juice jumping off the tremendous aerials--"

“Wait a minute, Pete, you’re off the beam. If that was in 1901 and the first broadcast was about 1906 it’ll be five years before the Fessenden stuff gets here on the same route. Even if there’s a seventy-six light-year short cut across space and even if those signals didn’t get so weak en route that we couldn’t hear them-it’s crazy.” 

“I told you it was,” Pete said gloomily. “Why, those signals after traveling that far would be so infinitesimal that for practical purposes they wouldn’t exist. Furthermore they’re all over the band on everything from microwave on up and equally strong on each. And, as you point out, we’ve already come almost five years in two hours, which isn’t possible. I told you it was crazy.” 

“But--“ 

“Ssshh. Listen,” said Pete. A blurred, but unmistakably human voice was coming from the radio, mingling with the cracklings of code. And then music, faint and scratchy, but unmistakably a violin. Playing Handel’s Largo. Only suddenly it climbed in pitch as though modulating from key to key until it became so horribly shrill that it hurt the ear. And kept on going past the high limit of audibility until they could hear it no more. 

Somebody said, “Shut that God damn thing off.” Somebody did, and this time nobody turned it back on. 

Pete said, “I didn’t really believe it myself. And there’s another thing against it, George. Those signals affect TV too, and radio waves are the wrong length to do that.” He shook his head slowly. “There must be some other explanation, George. The more I think about it now the more I think I’m wrong.” He was right: he was wrong. 

“Preposterous,” said Mr. Ogilvie. He took off his glasses, frowned fiercely, and put them back on again. He looked through them at the several sheets of copy paper in his hand and tossed them contemptuously to the top of his desk. They slid to rest against the triangular name plate that read: B. R. Ogilvie Editor-in-Chief. “Preposterous,” he said again. 

Casey Blair, his best reporter, blew a smoke ring and poked his index finger through it. “Why?” he asked. 

“Because—why, it’s utterly preposterous.” 

Casey Blair said, “It is now three o’clock in the morning. The interference has gone on for five hours and not a single program is getting through on either TV or radio. Every major broadcasting and telecasting station in the world has gone off the air.

“For two reasons. One, they were just wasting current. Two, the communications bureaus of their respective governments requested them to get off to aid their campaigns with the direction finders. For five hours now, since the start of the interference, they’ve been working with everything they’ve got. And what have they found out?” 

“It’s preposterous!” said the editor. 

“Perfectly, but it’s true. Greenwich at 11 P.M. New York time; I'm translating all these times into New York time—got a bearing in about the direction of Miami. It shifted northward until at two o’clock the direction was approximately that of Richmond, Virginia. San Francisco at eleven got a bearing in about the direction of Denver; three hours later it shifted southward toward Tucson. Southern hemisphere: bearings from Capetown, South Africa, shifted from direction of Buenos Aires to that of Montevideo, a thousand miles north. “New York at eleven had weak indications toward Madrid; but by two o’clock they could get no bearings at all.” He blew another smoke ring. “Maybe because the loop antennae they use turn only on a horizontal plane.” 

“Absurd.” 

Casey said, “I like ‘preposterous’ better, Mr. Ogilvie. Preposterous it is, but it’s not absurd. I’m scared stiff. Those lines-and all other bearings I’ve heard about run in the same direction if you take them as straight lines running as tangents off the Earth instead of curving them around the surface. I did it with a little globe and a star map. They converge on the constellation Leo.” 

He leaned forward and tapped a forefinger on the top page of the story he’d just turned in. “Stations that are directly under Leo in the sky get no bearings at all. Stations on what would be the perimeter of Earth relative to that point get the strongest bearings. Listen, have an astronomer check those figures if you want before you run the story, but get it done damn quick--unless you want to read about it in the other newspapers first.” 

“But the heavy-side layer, Casey--isn’t that supposed to stop all radio waves and bounce them back.” 

“Sure, it does. But maybe it leaks. Or maybe signals can get through it from the outside even though they can’t get out from the inside. It isn’t a solid wall.” 

“But--“ 

“I know, it’s preposterous. But there it is. And there’s only an hour before press time. You’d better send this story through fast and, have it set up while you’re having somebody check my facts and directions. Besides, there’s something else you’ll want to check.” 

“What?” 

“I didn’t have the data for checking the positions of the planets. Leo’s on the ecliptic; a planet could be in line between here and there. Mars, maybe.” 

Mr. Ogilvie’s eyes brightened, then clouded again. He said, “We’ll be the laughingstock of the world, Blair, if you’re wrong.”

“And if I’m right?” 

The editor picked up the phone and snapped an order. 

April 6th headline of the New York Morning Messenger, final (6 A.M.) edition: RADIO INTERFERENCE COMES FROM SPACE, ORIGINATES IN LEO May Be Attempt at Communication by Beings Outside Solar System. 

All television and radio broadcasting was suspended. Radio and television stocks opened several points off the previous day and then dropped sharply until noon when a moderate buying rally brought them a few points back. Public reaction was mixed; people who had no radios rushed out to buy them and there was a boom, especially in portable and tabletop receivers. 

On the other hand, no TV sets were sold at all. With telecasting suspended there were no pictures on their screens, even blurred ones. Their audio circuits, when turned on, brought in the same jumble as radio receivers. Which, as Pete Mulvaney had pointed out to George Bailey, was impossible; radio waves cannot activate the audio circuits of TV sets. But these did, if they were radio waves. 

In radio sets they seemed to be radio waves, but horribly hashed. No one could listen to them very long. Oh, there were flashes--times when, for several consecutive seconds, one could recognize the voice of Will Rogers or Geraldine Farrar or catch flashes of the Dempsey-Carpentier fight or the Pearl Harbor excitement. (Remember Pearl Harbor?) 

But things even remotely worth hearing were rare. Mostly it was a meaningless mixture of soap opera, advertising and off-key snatches of what had once been music. It was utterly indiscriminate, and utterly unbearable for any length of time. But curiosity is a powerful motive. There was a brief boom in radio sets for a few days. There were other booms, less explicable, less capable of analysis. Reminiscent of the Welles Martian scare of 1938 was a sudden upswing in the sale of shotguns and sidearms. Bibles sold as fast as books on astronomy-and books on astronomy sold like hotcakes. 

One section of the country showed a sudden interest in lightning rods; builders were flooded with orders for immediate installation. For some reason which has never been clearly ascertained there was a run on fishhooks in Mobile, Alabama; every hardware and sporting goods store sold out of them within hours. The public libraries and bookstores had a run on books on astrology and books on Mars. Yes, on Mars—despite the fact that Mars was at that moment on the other side of the sun and that every newspaper article on the subject stressed the fact that no planet was between Earth and the constellation Leo. 

Something strange was happening-and no news of developments available except through the newspapers. People waited in mobs outside newspaper buildings for each new edition to appear. Circulation managers went quietly mad. People also gathered in curious little knots around the silent broadcasting studios and stations, talking in hushed voices as though at a wake. MID network doors were locked, although there was a doorman on duty to admit technicians who were trying to find an answer to the problem. Some of the technicians who had been on duty the previous day had now spent over twenty-four hours without sleep. 

George Bailey woke at noon, with only a slight headache. He shaved and showered, went out and drank a light breakfast and was himself again. He bought early editions of the afternoon papers, read them, grinned. His hunch had been right; whatever was wrong, it was nothing trivial. But what was wrong? The later editions of the afternoon papers had it.

EARTH INVADED, SAYS SCIENTIST. Thirty-six line type was the biggest they had; they used it. 

Not a home-edition copy of a newspaper was delivered that evening. Newsboys starting on their routes were practically mobbed. They sold papers instead of delivering them; the smart ones got a dollar apiece for them. The foolish and honest ones who didn’t want to sell because they thought the papers should go to the regular customers on their routes lost them anyway. People grabbed them. The final editions changed the heading only slightly--only slightly, that is, from a typographical viewpoint. Nevertheless, it was a tremendous change in meaning. It read: EARTH INVADED, SAY SCIENTISTS. Funny what moving an S from the ending of a verb to the ending of a noun can do. 

Carnegie Hall shattered precedent that evening with a lecture given at midnight. An unscheduled and unadvertised lecture. Professor Helmetz had stepped off the train at eleven-thirty and a mob of reporters had been waiting for him. Helmetz, of Harvard, had been the scientist, singular, who had made that first headline. Harvey Ambers, director of the board of Carnegie Hall, had pushed his way through the mob. He arrived minus glasses, hat and breath, but got hold of Helmetz’s arm and hung on until he could talk again. “We want you to talk at Carnegie, Professor,” he shouted into Helmetz’s ear. “Five thousand dollars for a lecture on the ‘vaders.’"

“Certainly. Tomorrow afternoon?” 

“Now! I’ve a cab waiting. Come on.” 

“But--“ 

“We’ll get you an audience. Hurry!” 

He turned to the mob. “Let us through. All of you can’t hear the professor here. Come to Carnegie Hall and he’ll talk to you. And spread the word on your way there.” 

The word spread so well that Carnegie Hall was jammed by the time the professor began to speak. Shortly after, they’d rigged a loud-speaker system so the people outside could hear. By one o’clock in the morning the streets were jammed for blocks around. There wasn’t a sponsor on Earth with a million dollars to his name who wouldn’t have given a million dollars gladly for the privilege of sponsoring that lecture on TV or radio, but it was not telecast or broadcast. Both lines were busy. 

“Questions?” asked Professor Helmetz. 

A reporter in the front row made it first. “Professor,” he asked, “Have all direction finding stations on Earth confirmed what you told us about the change this afternoon?” 

“Yes, absolutely. At about noon all directional indications began to grow weaker. At 2:45 o’clock, Eastern Standard Time, they ceased completely. Until then the radio waves emanated from the sky, constantly changing direction with reference to the Earth’s surface, but constant with reference to a point in the constellation Leo.” 

“What star in Leo?” 

“No star visible on our charts. Either they came from a point in space or from a star too faint for our telescopes. 

“But at 2:45 P.M. today--yesterday rather, since it is now past midnight--all direction finders went dead. But the signals persisted, now coming from all sides equally. The invaders had all arrived. 

“There is no other conclusion to be drawn. Earth is now surrounded, completely blanketed, by radio-type waves which have no point of origin, which travel ceaselessly around the Earth in all directions, changing shape at their will--which currently is still in imitation of the Earth origin radio signals which attracted their attention and brought them here.” 

“Do you think it was from a star we can’t see, or could it have really been just a point in space?” 

“Probably from a point in space. And why not? They are not creatures of matter. If they came from a star, it must be a very dark star for it to be invisible to us, since it would be relatively near to us--only twenty-eight light-years away, which is quite close as stellar distances go.” 

“How can you know the distance?” 

"By assuming--and it is a quite reasonable assumption--that they started our way when they first discovered our radio signals--Marconi’s S-S-S code broadcast of fifty-six years ago. Since that was the form taken by the first arrivals, we assume they started toward us when they encountered those signals. Marconi’s signals, traveling at the speed of light, would have reached a point twenty-eight light-years away twenty-eight years ago; the invaders, also traveling at light speed would require an equal of time to reach us. 

“As might be expected only the first arrivals took Morse code form. Later arrivals were in the form of other waves that they met and passed on--or perhaps absorbed--on their way to Earth. There are now wandering around the Earth, as it were, fragments of programs broadcast as recently as a few days ago. Undoubtedly there are fragments of the very last programs to be broadcast, but they have not yet been identified.” 

“Professor, can you describe one of these invaders?” 

“As well as and no better than I can describe a radio wave. In effect, they are radio waves, although they emanate from no broadcasting station. They are a form of life dependent on wave motion, as our form of life is dependent on the vibration of matter.” 

“They are different sizes?” 

“Yes, in two senses of the word size. Radio waves are measured from crest to crest, which measurement is known as wave length. Since the invaders cover the entire dials of our radio sets and television sets it is obvious that either one of two things is true: Either they come in all crest-to-crest sizes or each one can change his crest-to-crest measurement to adapt himself to the tuning of any receiver. 

"But that is only the crest-to-crest length. In a sense it may be said that a radio wave has an over-all length determined by its duration. If a broadcasting station sends out a program that has a second’s duration, a wave carrying that program is one light-second long, roughly 186,000 miles. A continuous half-hour program is, as it were, on a continuous wave one-half light-hour long, and so on. 

"Taking that form of length, the individual invaders vary in length from a few thousand miles--a duration of only a small fraction of a second--to well over half a million miles long--a duration of several seconds. The longest continuous excerpt from any one program that has been observed has been about seven seconds.” 

“But, Professor Helmetz, why do you assume that these waves are living things, a life form. Why not just waves?” 

“Because ‘just waves’ as you call them would follow certain laws, just as inanimate matter follows certain laws. An animal can climb uphill, for instance; a stone cannot unless impelled by some outside force. These invaders are life-forms because they show volition, because they can change their direction of travel, and most especially because they retain their identity; two signals never conflict on the same radio receiver. They follow one another but do not come simultaneously. They do not mix as signals on the same wave length would ordinarily do. They are not ‘just waves.’“ 

“Would you say they are intelligent?” 

Professor Helmetz took off his glasses and polished them thoughtfully. He said, “I doubt if we shall ever know. The intelligence of such beings, if any, would be on such a completely different plane from ours that there would be no common point from which we could start intercourse. We are material; they are immaterial. There is no common ground between us.” 

“But if they are intelligent at all--“ 

“Ants are intelligent, after a fashion. Call it instinct if you will, but instinct is a form of intelligence; at least it enables them to accomplish some of the same things intelligence would enable them to accomplish. Yet we cannot establish communication with ants and it is far less likely that we shall be able to establish communication with these invaders. The difference in type between ant intelligence and our own would be nothing to the difference in type between the intelligence, if any, of the invaders and our own. No, I doubt if we shall ever communicate.” 

The professor had something there. Communication with the vaders--a clipped form, of course, of invaders-was never established. Radio stocks stabilized on the exchange the next day. But the day following that someone asked Dr. Helmets a sixty-four dollar question and the newspapers published his answer:

“Resume broadcasting? I don’t know if we ever shall. Certainly we cannot until the invaders go away, and why should they? Unless radio communication is perfected on some other planet far away and they’re attracted there. 

“But at least some of them would be right back the moment we started to broadcast again.” 

Radio and TV stocks dropped to practically zero in an hour. There weren’t, however, any frenzied scenes on the stock exchanges; there was no frenzied selling because there was no buying, frenzied or otherwise. No radio stocks changed hands. 

Radio and television employees and entertainers began to look for other jobs. The entertainers had no trouble finding them. Every other form of entertainment suddenly boomed like mad. 

“Two down,” said George Bailey. The bartender asked what he meant. “I dunno, Hank. It’s just a hunch I’ve got.” 

“What kind of hunch?” 

“I don’t even know that. Shake me up one more of those and then I’ll go home.” The electric shaker wouldn’t work and Hank had to shake the drink by hand. 

“Good exercise; that’s just what you need,” George said. “It’ll take some of that fat off you.” Hank grunted, and the ice tinkled merrily as he tilted the shaker to pour out the drink. 

George Bailey took his time drinking it and then strolled out into an April thundershower. He stood under the awning and watched for a taxi. An old man was standing there too. 

“Some weather,” George said. 

The old man grinned at him. “You noticed it, eh?”

 “Huh? Noticed what?” 

“Just watch a while, mister. Just watch a while.” The old man moved on. No empty cab came by and George stood there quite a while before he got it. His jaw dropped a little and then he closed his mouth and went back into the tavern. He went into a phone booth and called Pete Mulvaney. He got three wrong numbers before he got Pete. 

Pete’s voice said, “Yeah?” 

“George Bailey, Pete. Listen, have you noticed the weather?” 

“Damn right. No lightning, and there should be with a thunderstorm like this.” 

“What’s it mean, Pete? The vaders?” 

“Sure. And that’s just going to be the start if--“ A crackling sound on the wire blurred his voice out.

“Hey, Pete, you still there?” The sound of a violin. Pete Mulvaney didn’t play violin. “Hey, Pete, what the hell--?” 

Pete’s voice again. “Come on over, George. Phone won’t last long. Bring--“ There was a buzzing noise and then a voice said, “--come to Carnegie Hall. The best tunes of all come--“ 

George slammed down the receiver. He walked through the rain to Pete’s place. On the way he bought a bottle of Scotch. Pete had started to tell him to bring something and maybe that’s what he’d started to say. It was. They made a drink apiece and lifted them. The lights flickered briefly, went out, and then came on again but dimly. 

“No lightning,” said George. “No lightning and pretty soon no lighting. They’re taking over the telephone. What do they do with the lightning?” 

“Eat it, I guess. They must eat electricity.” 

“No lightning,” said George. “Damn. I can get by without a telephone, and candles and oil lamps aren’t bad for lights--but I’m going to miss lightning. I like lightning. Damn.” 

The lights went out completely. Pete Mulvaney sipped his drink in the dark. He said, “Electric lights, refrigerators, electric toasters, vacuum cleaners--“ 

“Juke boxes,” George said. “Think of it, no more God damn juke boxes. No public address systems, no--hey, how about movies?” 

“No movies, not even silent ones. You can’t work a projector with an oil lamp. But listen, George, no automobiles--no gasoline engine can work without electricity.” “Why not, if you crank it by hand instead of using a starter?” 

“The spark, George. What do you think makes the spark.” 

“Right. No airplanes either, then. Or how about jet planes?” 

“Well--I guess some types of jets could be rigged not to need electricity, but you couldn’t do much with them. Jet plane’s got more instruments than motor, and all those instruments are electrical. And you can’t fly or land a jet by the seat of your pants.” 

“No radar. But what would we need it for? There won’t be any more wars, not for a long time.” 

“A damned long time.” 

George sat up straight suddenly. “Hey, Pete, what about atomic fission? Atomic energy? Will it still work?” 

“I doubt it. Subatomic phenomena are basically electrical. Bet you a dime they eat loose neutrons too.” (He’d have won his bet; the government had not announced that an A-bomb tested that day in Nevada had fizzled like a wet firecracker and that atomic piles were ceasing to function.) 

George shook his head slowly, in wonder. He said, “Streetcars and buses, ocean liners--Pete, this means we’re going back to the original source of horsepower. Horses. If you want to invest, buy horses. Particularly mares. A brood mare is going to be worth a thousand times her weight in platinum.” 

“Right. But don’t forget steam. We’ll still have steam engines, stationary and locomotive.” 

“Sure, that’s right. The iron horse again, for the long hauls. But Dobbin for the short ones. Can you ride, Peter?” 

“Used to, but I think I’m getting too old. I’ll settle for a bicycle. Say, better buy a bike first thing tomorrow before the run on them starts. I know I’m going to.” 

“Good tip. And I used to be a good bike rider. It’ll be swell with no autos around to louse you up. And say--“ 

“What?” 

“I’m going to get a cornet too. Used to play one when I as a kid and I can pick it up again. And then maybe I’ll hole in somewhere and write that nov--. Say, what about printing?” 

“They printed books long before electricity, George. It’ll take a while to readjust the printing industry, but there’ll be books all right. Thank God for that.” 

George Bailey grinned and got up. He walked over to the window and looked out into the night. The rain had stopped and the sky was clear. A streetcar was stalled, without lights, in the middle of the block outside. An automobile stopped, then started more slowly, stopped again; its headlights were dimming rapidly. George looked up at the sky and took a sip of his drink. “No lightning,” he said sadly. “I’m going to miss the lightning.” 

The changeover went more smoothly than anyone would have thought possible. The government, in emergency session, made the wise decision of creating one board with absolutely unlimited authority and under it only three subsidiary boards. The main board, called the Economic Readjustment Bureau, had only seven members and its job was to co-ordinate the efforts of the three subsidiary boards and to decide, quickly and without appeal, any jurisdictional disputes among them. 

First of the three subsidiary boards was the Transportation Bureau. It immediately took over, temporarily, the railroads. It ordered Diesel engines run onto sidings and left there, organized use of the steam locomotives and solved the problems of railroading sans telegraphy and electric signals. It dictated, then, what should be transported; food coming first, coal and fuel oil second, and essential manufactured articles in the order of their relative importance. Carload after carload of new radios, electric stoves, refrigerators and such useless articles were dumped unceremoniously alongside the tracks, to be salvaged for scrap metal later. 

All horses were declared wards of the government, graded according to capabilities, and put to work or to stud. Draft horses were used for only the most essential kinds of hauling. The breeding program was given the fullest possible emphasis; the bureau estimated that the equine population would double in two years, quadruple in three, and that within six or seven years there would be a horse in every garage in the country. Farmers, deprived temporarily of their horses, and with their tractors rusting in the fields, were instructed how to use cattle for plowing and other work about the farm, including light hauling. 

The second board, the Manpower Relocation Bureau, functioned just as one would deduce from its title. It handled unemployment benefits for the millions thrown temporarily out of work and helped relocate them--not too difficult a task considering the tremendously increased demand for hand labor in many fields. In May of 1977 thirty-five million employables were out of work; in October, fifteen million; by May of 1978, five million. By 1979 the situation was completely in hand and competitive demand was already beginning to raise wages. 

The third board had the most difficult job of the three. It was called the Factory Readjustment Bureau. It coped with the stupendous task of converting factories filled with electrically operated machinery and, for the most part, tooled for the production of other electrically operated machinery, over for the production, without electricity, of essential nonelectrical articles. 

The few available stationary steam engines worked twenty-four hour shifts in those early days, and the first thing they were given to do was the running of lathes and stompers and planers and millers working on turning out more stationary steam engines, of all sizes. These, in turn, were first put to work making still more steam engines. The number of steam engines grew by squares and cubes, as did the number of horses put to stud. The principle was the same. One might, and many did, refer to those early steam engines as stud horses. At any rate, there was no lack of metal for them. 

The factories were filled with nonconvertible machinery waiting to be melted down. Only when steam engines-the basis of the new factory economy-were in full production, were they assigned to running machinery for the manufacture of other articles. Oil lamps, clothing, coal stoves, oil stoves, bathtubs and bedsteads. Not quite all of the big factories were converted. For while the conversion period went on, individual handicrafts sprang up in thousands of places. Little one- and two-man shops making and repairing furniture, shoes, candles, all sorts of things that could be made without complex machinery. 

At first these small shops made small fortunes because they had no competition from heavy industry. Later, they bought small steam engines to run small machines and held their own, growing with the boom that came with a return to normal employment and buying power, increasing gradually in size until many of them rivaled the bigger factories in output and beat them in quality. 

There was suffering, during the period of economic readjustment, but less than there had been during the great depression of the early thirties. And the recovery was quicker. The reason was obvious: In combating the depression, the legislators were working in the dark. They didn’t know its cause--rather, they knew a thousand conflicting theories of its cause--and they didn’t know the cure. They were hampered by the idea that the thing was temporary and would cure itself if left alone.

Briefly and frankly, they didn’t know what it was all about and while they experimented, it snowballed. But the situation that faced the country--and all other countries--in 1977 was clear-cut and obvious. No more electricity. Readjust for steam and horsepower. As simple and clear as that, and no ifs or ands or buts. And the whole people--except for the usual scattering of cranks--back of them. 

By 1981--  

It was a rainy day in April and George Bailey was waiting under the sheltering roof of the little railroad station at Blakestown, Connecticut, to see who might come in on the 3:14. It chugged in at 3:25 and came to a panting stop, three coaches and a baggage car. The baggage car door opened and a sack of mail was handed out and the door closed again. No luggage, so probably no passengers would--. Then at the sight of a tall dark man swinging down from the platform of the rear coach, George Bailey let out a yip of delight. 

“Pete! Pete Mulvaney! What the devil--“ 

“Bailey, by all that’s holy! What are you doing here?” George wrung Pete’s hand. 

“Me? I live here. Two years now. I bought the Blakestown Weekly in ‘79, for a song, and I run it-editor, reporter, and janitor. Got one printer to help me out with that end, and Maisie does the social items. She’s--“ 

“Maisie? Maisie Hetterman?” 

“Maisie Bailey now. We got married same time I bought the paper and moved here. What are you doing here, Pete?” 

“Business. Just here overnight. See a man named Wilcox.” 

“Oh, Wilcox. Our local screwball-but don’t get me wrong; he’s a smart guy all right. Well, you can see him tomorrow. You’re coming home with me now, for dinner and to stay overnight. Maisie’ll be glad to see you. Come on, my buggy’s over here.” 

“Sure. Finished whatever you were here for?” 

“Yep, just to pick up the news on who came in on the train. And you came in, so here we go.” They got in the buggy, and George picked up the reins and said, “Giddup, Bessie,” to the mare. Then, “What are you doing now, Pete?” 

“Research. For a gas supply company. Been working on a more efficient mantle, one that’ll give more light and be less destructible. This fellow Wilcox wrote us he had something along that line; the company sent me up to look it over. If it’s what he claims, I’ll take him back to New York with me, and let the company lawyers dicker with him.” 

“How’s business, otherwise?”

“Great, George. Gas: that’s the coming thing. Every new home’s being piped for it, and plenty of the old ones. How about you?” 

“We got it. Luckily we had one of the old Linotypes that ran the metal pot off a gas burner, so it was already piped in. And our home is right over the office and print shop, so all we had to do was pipe it up a flight. Great stuff, gas. How’s New York?” 

“Fine, George. Down to its last million people, and stabilizing there. No crowding and plenty of room for everybody. The air--why, it’s better than Atlantic City, without gasoline fumes.” 

“Enough horses to go around yet?” 

“Almost. But bicycling’s the craze; the factories can’t turn out enough to meet the demand. There’s a cycling club in almost every block and all the able-bodied cycle to and from work. Doing ‘em good, too; a few more years and the doctors will go on short rations.” 

“You got a bike?” 

“Sure, a pre-vader one. Average fifteen miles a day on it, and I eat like a horse.” 

George Bailey chuckled. “I’ll have Maisie include some hay in the dinner. Well, here we are. Whoa, Bessie.” 

An upstairs window went up, and Maisie looked out and down. She called out, “Hi, Pete!”

“Extra plate, Maisie,” George called. “We’ll be up soon as I put the horse away and show Pete around downstairs.” He led Pete from the barn into the back door of the newspaper shop. “Our Linotype!” he announced proudly, pointing. 

“How’s it work? Where’s your steam engine?” 

George grinned. “Doesn’t work yet; we still hand set the type. I could get only one steamer and had to use that on the press. But I’ve got one on order for the Lino, and coming up in a month or so. When we get it, Pop Jenkins, my printer, is going to put himself out of a job teaching me to run it. With the Linotype going, I can handle the whole thing myself.” 

“Kind of rough on Pop?” 

George shook his head. “Pop eagerly awaits the day. He’s sixty-nine and wants to retire. He’s just staying on until I can do without him. Here’s the press—a honey of a little Miehle; we do some job work on it, too. And this is the office, in front. Messy, but efficient.” 

Mulvaney looked around him and grinned. “George, I believe you’ve found your niche. You were cut out for a small-town editor.” 

“Cut out for it? I’m crazy about it. I have more fun than everybody. Believe it or not, I work like a dog, and like it. Come on upstairs.” 

On the stairs, Pete asked, “And the novel you were going to write?”

“Half done, and it isn’t bad. But it isn’t the novel I was going to write; I was a cynic then. Now--“ 

“George, I think the waveries were your best friends.” 

“Waveries?” “Lord, how long does it take slang to get from New York out to the sticks? The vaders. of course. Some professor who specializes in studying them described one as a wavery place in the ether, and ‘wavery’ stuck--Hello there, Maisie, my girl. You look like a million.” 

They ate leisurely. Almost apologetically, George brought out beer, in cold bottles. “Sorry, Pete, haven’t anything stronger to offer you. But I haven’t been drinking lately. Guess--“ 

“You on the wagon, George?” 

“Not on the wagon, exactly. Didn’t swear off or anything, but haven’t had a drink of strong liquor in almost a year. I don’t know why, but--“ 

“I do,” said Pete Mulvaney. “I know exactly why you don’t--because I don’t drink much either, for the same reason. We don’t drink because we don’t have to--say, isn’t that a radio over there?” 

George chuckled. “A souvenir. Wouldn’t sell it for a fortune. Once in a while I like to look at it and think of the awful guff I used to sweat out for it. And then I go over and click the switch and nothing happens. Just silence. Silence is the most wonderful thing in the world, sometimes, Pete. Of course I couldn’t do that if there was any juice, because I’d get vaders then. I suppose they’re still doing business at the same old stand?” 

“Yep, the Research Bureau checks daily. Try to get up current with a little generator run by a steam turbine. But no dice; the vaders suck it up as fast as it’s generated.” 

“Suppose they’ll ever go away?” 

Mulvaney shrugged. “Helmetz thinks not. He thinks they propagate in proportion to the available electricity. Even if the development of radio broadcasting somewhere else in the Universe would attract them there, some would stay here--and multiply like flies the minute we tried to use electricity again. And meanwhile, they’ll live on the static electricity in the air. What do you do evenings up here?” 

“Do? Read, write, visit with one another, go to the amateur groups--Maisie’s chairman of the Blakestown Players, and I play bit parts in it. With the movies out everybody goes in for theatricals and we’ve found some real talent. And there’s the chess-and-checker club, and cycle trips and picnics--there isn’t time enough. Not to mention music. Everybody plays an instrument, or is trying to.” 

“You?” 

“Sure, cornet. First cornet in the Silver Concert Band, with solo parts. And--Good Heavens! Tonight’s rehearsal, and we’re giving a concert Sunday afternoon. I hate to desert you, but--“ 

“Can’t I come around and sit in? I’ve got my flute in the brief case here, and--“ 

“Flute? We’re short on flutes. Bring that around and Si Perkins, our director, will practically shanghai you into staying over for the concert Sunday and it’s only three days, so why not? And get it out now; we’ll play a few old timers to warm up. Hey, Maisie, skip those dishes and come on in to the piano!” 

While Pete Mulvaney went to the guest room to get his flute from the brief case, George Bailey picked up his cornet from the top of the piano and blew a soft, plaintive little minor run on it. Clear as a bell; his lip was in good shape tonight. And with the shining silver thing in his hand he wandered over to the window and stood looking out into the night. 

It was dusk out and the rain had stopped. A high-stepping horse clop-clopped by and the bell of a bicycle jangled. Somebody across the street was strumming a guitar and singing. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. The scent of spring was soft and wet in the moist air. Peace and dusk. Distant rolling thunder. God damn it, he thought, if only there was a bit of lightning. He missed the lightning. 



Friday, March 4, 2022

This land is our land

 Between Americans by Norman Corwin


I notice the propagandists for the so-called left and especially the professional America-haters seem to have one overwhelming goal:  to demoralize Americans, particularly the average Jill or Joe, to belittle them and their history, make them feel guilty for enjoying their lives, call them mutts living in a fake country, deride the things they like such as rock and country music, custom cars and football, bass boats and motorcycles, air shows, westerns and war movies, stock car racing, bosomy babes in bikinis, jet skis and snowmobiles, water skiing, hunting and

fishing, Warner Brothers cartoons, Disneyland, grocery store beer, Coke and Pepsi, moon pies, BLTs and curly fries, root-beer floats, buckwheat cakes with maple syrup, cheeseburgers and potato chips, chili cheese hotdogs, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches with Fritos, steak with mushrooms and a baked potato with sour cream, onion rings and garlic french fries, barbecuing chicken in the backyard, trips to Dairy Queen or McDonald's with the kids, Christmas, pride in their armed forces, their history, their religion--especially anything that mentions Jesus or the Bible. 
I don't understand why this is so, other than that I have noticed that the lower ranks of such people (I don't know any upper-rankers), seem to have serious emotional issues.  They tend to be failures in their personal and professional lives, often drug and alcohol abusers, unable to grow-up emotionally, self-centered, childless, and not very well educated and not all that smart, these latter evident in their intellectual incuriosity and ignorance of the subjects they attack. 
If you try to correct their factual errors or engage them in a debate, they are at first supercilious, confident they know more and are smarter than you; after all, if you weren't so ignorant and stupid, you would agree with them.  Then they become angry, lose their tempers, call you names. 
 There are so many examples of such people blaming Americans for historical crimes, often ones never actually committed, while giving a pass to other nationalities for doing vastly worse, often as deliberate policy, things that have been well documented. 
I think those who misrepresent and outright lie about us may often be selected and promoted as useful tools by those with a much larger agenda and world view, one in which a powerful middle-class country full of people who think for themselves, can manage their own lives, don't need much in the way of government and are not impressed by self-described "elites" or credentials or fancy degrees, is a threat that must be eliminated. 
They become a type of affirmative action hire, granted impressive-sounding academic degrees, promoted to vanity positions in media and government, have their "scientific" papers lauded, get their embarrassing drivel published in prestige newspapers and magazines, even have their books published by mainstream presses -- all as long as they parrot the party line.  When they no longer do, they are discarded, their lives and efforts derided and discredited -- a fate they never seem to see coming.
The unfortunate thing to me is that when it comes to US foreign policy as well as any number of domestic policy issues, many of us ordinary Americans would agree with these America haters that things have gone badly wrong, terrible mistakes have been made and the direction the country is headed is catastrophic. We would also acknowledge that American history is far from free of tragedy.  But they are so focused on feeling superior to us and attacking us for simply existing as a people that they don't realize that.  I don't think they want to realize it.  What they want is an enemy, and the smart people manipulating them have made us their designated enemies and they never question why.

 





Artwork for our times




Wednesday, March 2, 2022

Oh, to hell with this stupid present

 Ima climb into my make-believe time machine and punch out of here.  See you in 1941 (before Pearl Harbor)!




Tuesday, March 1, 2022

Down Old Roads



Cruising With the Beach Boys

by Dana Gioia

So strange to hear that song again tonight
Traveling on business in a rented car
Miles from anywhere I’ve been before.
And now a tune I haven’t heard for years
Probably not since it last left the charts
Back in L.A. in 1969.
I can’t believe I know the words by heart
And can’t think of a girl to blame them on.
Every lovesick summer has its song,
And this one I pretended to despise,
But if I was alone when it came on,
I turned it up full-blast to sing along —

 
A primal scream in croaky baritone,
The notes all flat, the lyrics mostly slurred.
No wonder I spent so much time alone
Making the rounds in Dad’s old Thunderbird.
Some nights I drove down to the beach to park
And walk along the railings of the pier.
The water down below was cold and dark,
The waves monotonous against the shore.
The darkness and the mist, the midnight sea,
The flickering lights reflected from the city —
A perfect setting for a boy like me,
The Cecil B. DeMille of my self-pity.
I thought by now I’d left those nights behind,
Lost like the girls that I could never get,
Gone with the years, junked with the old T-Bird.
But one old song, a stretch of empty road,
Can open up a door and let them fall
Tumbling like boxes from a dusty shelf,
Tightening my throat for no reason at all,
Bringing on tears shed only for myself.
 (From 99 Poems)


Is it?

https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0UqGvez4BaX_fHzBbR1R8sJDxdLT7tqjEVB0nrO_QMJmXoiw-8ijr1PXKEqfX2e2FyHRjOtPa93QCczgiVrShgnQwF8JpTBOn8GeUlaJgMvbnn1apyZONq0YXfw6ccq4SDFskyr1_wyjK/s1600/Eisely+quote+final.jpg


Yeah, what he said!

 

 

“Patriotism means to stand by the country. It does not mean to stand by the president or any other public official, save exactly to the degree in which he himself stands by the country. It is patriotic to support him insofar as he efficiently serves the country. It is unpatriotic not to oppose him to the exact extent that by inefficiency or otherwise he fails in his duty to stand by the country. In either event, it is unpatriotic not to tell the truth, whether about the president or anyone else.”
― Theodore Roosevelt  

 “Every gun that is made, every warship launched, every rocket fired signifies in the final sense, a theft from those who hunger and are not fed, those who are cold and are not clothed. This world in arms is not spending money alone. It is spending the sweat of its laborers, the genius of its scientists, the hopes of its children. This is not a way of life at all in any true sense. Under the clouds of war, it is humanity hanging on a cross of iron.”
― Dwight D. Eisenhower 

 “My kind of loyalty is loyalty to one's country, not to its institutions or its officeholders. The country is the real thing, the substantial thing, the eternal thing; it is the thing to watch over, and care for, and be loyal to; institutions are extraneous, they are its mere clothing, and clothing can wear out, become ragged, cease to be comfortable, cease to protect the body from winter, disease, and death.”
― Mark Twain

“The greatest patriotism is to tell your country when it is behaving dishonorably, foolishly, viciously.”
Julian Barnes

 “This is your country. Cherish its natural wonders, cherish its natural resources, cherish its history and romance as a sacred heritage for your children and your children's children. Do not let selfish men or greedy interests rob your country of its beauty, its riches and its romance.”
― Theodore Roosevelt 

“At the sight of the flag he tasted tears in his throat. In the Stars and Stripes all the passions of his life coalesced to produce the ache with which he loved the United States of America - with which he loved the dirty, plain, honest faces of GIs in the photographs of World War Two, with which he loved the sheets of rain rippling across the green playing field toward the end of the school year, with which he cherished the sense-memories of the summers in his childhood, the many Kansas summers, running the bases, falling harmlessly onto the grass, his head beating with heat, the stunned streets of breezeless afternoons, the thick, palpable shade of colossal elms, the muttering of radios beyond the windowsills, the whirring of redwing blackbirds, the sadness of the grown-ups at their incomprehensible pursuits, the voices carrying over the yards in the dusks that fell later and later, the trains moving through town into the sky. His love for his country, his homeland, was a love for the United States of America in the summertime.”
― Denis Johnson

 

 

 

 

Thursday, February 24, 2022

Sunday, February 20, 2022

Spanish Guam/American Guam (and the Japanese)

It always has puzzled me why Spanish imperialism, which was widespread, long lasting, and fatal to so many indigenous peoples, gets a pass -- in fact is very largely ignored or forgotten, so much so that often the Spanish language is considered to not even be European but a "native" language -- while American imperialism, which was much more limited and much less damaging to the indigenous, is excoriated as the epitome of evil.
Just one example:  I recently read some political blogger who referred to American criminal imperialism on Guam, an island that I know well, while entirely ignoring the horrific crimes the Spanish committed as part of a formal extermination policy against the native Chamorros.  Here's what the Spanish did in Guam:
"The complete disappearance of Chamorro males from this contentiously interpreted period (which supports a warfare interpretation) had long-term demographic consequences – not only in subsequent interracial genetic make-up but also in the continued decline of the Chamorro population even after 1742.
In 1668, when the Spanish began occupying the island, they estimated there were some 40,000 Chamorros on Guam.  In 1670, the Chamorros rebelled against the invading Spanish and in retaliation the Spanish began a campaign to kill every male Chamorro -- men, boys, babies. Only a handful of males, mostly infants their mothers hid, survived concealed in caves in the jungle. By 1710, a census recorded only 3,539 Chamorros, a 92 percent decline of the population in only 42 years. The Spanish then began a program of forced intermarriage of Chamorro women with Spaniards, with the result that by 1797, a census recorded only 1,111 'pure blooded indigenes,' a census category that ceased to exist after 1830, as there were no more such individuals."  See When Cultures Clash: Revisiting the ‘Spanish-Chamorro Wars by Francis X. Hezel, SJ.
After the USA took over Guam from the Spanish at the end of the Spanish-American War in 1899, the population of the remaining partial-blood Guamanians doubled in the the first 30 years.  We built roads, introduced schools (the Spanish had kept the Chamorros illiterate), health clinics, built infrastructure including a dam and reservoir to ensure a steady supply of fresh water, and provided jobs.  Today there are some 68,000 Chamorros on Guam, more than ever in history.
Then we could talk about the horrific massacres the Japanese committed against the Guamanians in their brief occupation of the island (See Japanese Atrocities on Guam). But no!  Only Americans are bad! 

You may think it odd that I go on so much about Guam, but I love Guam -- I'm a Guambat! I attended DoDEA  school there as a child, and have been stationed there with the Navy.  I still own a beachfront condo in Tamuning within walking distance of the good old Horse and Cow. And one of my relatives won the Navy Cross posthumously during the battle for Saipan, an island north of Guam in the Marianas. 

Friday, February 18, 2022

The Man comes around


The Marine Corps unit I was assigned to on my second  deployment to Afghanistan suffered 186 wounded (including 38 single, double and triple amputations), as well as a number killed, immediately or later as a result of the injuries they sustained, in nine months.  I had talked to every one of them, studied their personnel files.  Then I spent time with them after they were wounded, or communicated with their families if they were killed--I still follow-up to this day.  I don't forget them.
 I was a passenger in an M-ATV that was struck by an EFP IED — that's an explosively-formed penetrator type of so-called improvised explosive device.  It severely damaged our vehicle. I saw out of the corner of my eye a flower blooming bright red inside a blue shimmering sphere and thought, "What?" and that was it, the switch was turned off.  When the switch was turned back on I was outside the vehicle.  The driver was killed. The person who had been sitting next to me had had his ballistic vest shattered and parts of it forced inside his lung (which they tried to save but it got infected and had to be removed).  There were other casualties.  I don't really have any clear memories beyond that.
We should appreciate being alive, with all our arms and legs, our faces not burned off, able to walk and see.  Each day is a gift from God and we should thank Him for allowing us to grow old and have memories along with our worries, cares and aches and pains.  

 

 

“What are the children of men, but as leaves that drop at the wind's breath?”
  “But now, as it is, sorrows, unending sorrows, must surge within your heart — My spirit rebels — I’ve lost the will to live, to take my stand in the world of men —”
     ~ Homer, The Iliad 


 

Thursday, February 17, 2022

Bits and pieces

When she was a teenager, my grandmother worked as a waitress at a local diner.  She brought home leftover chocolate and banana cream pies.  When she was a teenager, my mother worked as a waitress at the very same diner.  She, too, brought home leftover chocolate and banana cream pies.  When I was a teenager, I also worked at that very same diner and brought home leftover chocolate and banana cream pies.
None of us liked cream pies.

In the before times, a person did not throw away worn or torn clothing. She mended them and was not abashed to wear the patched items in public, at least in non-formal situations.  Doing so was a sign of thriftiness and homemaking skills. Oh, and people were not fat.  They walked, biked, climbed stairs, did house- and yard work, and ate sufficiently but not to excess. 
The photo, taken in 1942, shows a young woman mailing a letter to her husband in the service.  She need not fear that a stalker would  follow her home and stab her to death, or that a gang-banger driving by would gun her down for the lulz.

Men often talk--okay, boast--about that crazy girlfriend they used to have.  It's always, "The sex was great but..." followed by some stupid blahblah. I always wondered a couple of things about that -- why do men so readily admit that the only thing that matters to them is sex and they will seduce a mentally ill person without qualm to get it; and...or...why can't men recognize a mentally ill person and avoid her--are they so blinded by their desire for sex that they are made fools?
Oh, and why don't women talk about that crazy boyfriend they used to have who was great in bed?  Two reasons: sex is really not that overwhelmingly important to them and it's never that great so they are not going to put up with a nut case just so they can have sex, and--the crazy boyfriend murders them.  It happens every day. Why do women stay with crazy boyfriends?  Because: "He needs me, I can't leave him, maybe I can change him."  When the verbal abuse and beatings become too much to bear and she tries to get away, it's too late.  If she's had children with him in a vain hope that becoming a father will settle him down, he may murder them, too.

If you are a normal person in a normal relationship with a decent person, you should fall to your knees and thank God every day of your life and do everything you can to foster and maintain that relationship.

 



Tuesday, February 15, 2022

Plum blossoms and lichen


 

“This is what you shall do: Love the earth and sun and the animals, despise riches, give alms to every one that asks, stand up for the stupid and crazy, devote your income and labor to others, hate tyrants, argue not concerning God, have patience and indulgence toward the people, take off your hat to nothing known or unknown or to any man or number of men, go freely with powerful uneducated persons and with the young and with the mothers of families, read in the open air every season of every year of your life, re-examine all you have been told at school or church or in any book, dismiss whatever insults your own soul, and your very flesh shall be a great poem and have the richest fluency not only in its words but in the silent lines of its lips and face and between the lashes of your eyes and in every motion and joint of your body.”
Walt Whitman

Saturday, February 12, 2022

Star bright?


 One time I was going to get reamed out by an 0-6 when he noticed my CAR, service bars and a couple of other pretty ribbons and badges and decided not to.  You'd be surprised how many lifers, despite two decades of Iraq-Afghanistan fun, have never been near a war zone, let alone actual combat, and how intimidated they are by those who have.  That is, if they are decent human beings.  Some are not.  Did I say some?

I know a girl who was stripped naked, held down and waterboarded with tequila by three rodeo clowns at the Rodeway Inn East in Cheyenne, Wyoming, during Frontier Days. Then they all three had their way with her.  When she called 911, the dispatcher laughed and hung up on her.  She called back and got the same dispatcher who was still laughing as he answered the phone.  He hung up again.

When I was a little kid, one of my dad's pastimes was to design his dream sailboat with which he planned to sail around the world after he retired.  He used various formulae to calculate hull speed, stability and what not, punching numbers into a scientific calculator.  One formula that he used a lot required determining cube roots. 
I used to hang around him, pestering him with questions.  Finally, he put me to work calculating those cube roots, but not using the calculator.   He gave me a pencil and paper, showed me how to manually determine cube roots and set me to work, telling me how important my results were to him and how they must be absolutely accurate. 
So I set to work with a will, puzzling out those cube roots, concentrating on the task too seriously to make a nuisance of myself. Pretty soon I began to see patterns and remember previous partial results and plugged them into current problems without bothering to go through all the raw  calculations. 
Then it got to where as soon as I saw a number I could envision its cube root, so when my dad said, tell me the cube root of 1,378, for example, I would immediately say 11.128.  He would raise an eyebrow and tell me not to guess, it was important that he know the correct figure.  I would insist it was.  He'd look at me with his patented don't-BS-me look and then reach for his calculator, feed in the numbers, get the answer, stare at it, then look at me and have me do several more cube roots.  When I did, he said, "God damn, kid!" 
My mother in the next room called out, "I heard that!  Don't swear in front of Wanda.  You know she mimics everything you do."  My dad muttered, "Maybe it's time I started mimicking you, squirt." 
Eventually, he had me giving him the results from entire formulae.  After some practice, I could do it practically instantaneously with no conscious thought.  Dad began calling me the CalTech Kid, sure I would become some sort of genius.  But when puberty hit, I completely lost the ability.  I became boy crazy and my mother had to step in to control my concupiscence.  It seemed as if as my body transformed itself into that of an adult female my brain lost interest in the abstract and focused on people.  My dad was baffled and disappointed but my mother seemed quite pleased.  She had worried I would never give her grandchildren but now she knew she didn't have to worry about that. 

An audio play about a very bright little girl, "Star Bright," first broadcast on the NBC radio series X Minus One, April 10, 1956:

 Star Bright

 

There are easier ways to get what you want, chief.
With the price of beef going up and up, we decided to open some marginal land to cattle grazing, but first we needed to drill a well, put in a water storage tank and a watering trough.  That was easily, if expensively, done by a hearty crew of white men and one white woman, none of whom wore masks as they drove trucks, operated heavy equipment, working steadily from around 7am to 4pm or later. After the work was completed a crew of Mexicans, also maskless, arrived to clean up the work site and haul away left over supplies and trash.
The crew boss was an American Indian married to a white woman.  The pair showed up the first day, looked around examining the ground and determining what needed to be done, then didn't appear again till the job was done, to ensure we were satisfied and to collect their fee.  They, in fact, owned the drilling company. 
America -- what a country! -- where a wild injun can drive a $100,000 custom four-wheel drive pickup, marry a good-looking white woman and boss around white men who treat him with cordial respect. 
Also what a country because the auxiliary generator we needed to ensure continuous operation of the well and storage tank pumps was not to be had anywhere, including from the manufacturer.  Shortages in critical parts and lack of available shipping and trucking had brought inventories to zero with no prediction of when existing orders could be filled. No one was accepting new orders. So we probably won't risk grazing cattle on that land and all the considerable expense of the well may end up being wasted.

Speaking of bow-and-arrow Indians, one Easter vacation when I was in high school I visited the reservation of the tribe I am affiliated with.  As with all rez Indians, the denizens were afflicted with an epidemic of obesity due to poor eating habits.  So a group of us went to teach them about the joys of chowing down on salads and soups and to help them plant their own gardens so they could grow their own fresh tomatoes and lettuce, carrots, beans, radishes, etc. 
It seemed a natural and surely successful way to ameliorate their health problems, especially since American Indians had been very successful farmers, providing the world with everything from potatoes, tomatoes and corn to squashes, all sorts of beans and chilies, and even cocoa and vanilla, not to mention  tobacco and cocaine.
Everyone was all smiles as we helped them stake out a garden, till the soil, plant seeds, water and fertilize.  We even made a scarecrow with spinning discs and twirlers made of old store bakery pie pans and ribbons. I looked forward to seeing the fruits of our labor when I returned during summer vacation. 
Alas, when I did so, to my surprise and dismay, the garden was dead.  No one had done anything to it since we left.  It hadn't been watered, weeded, hoed...nothing.  The seeds had sprouted, grown, then withered and died.  When I asked what had happened, why no one had taken care of the garden, I was met with shrugs and sheepish grins from fatties stuffing their faces with Doritos and Cheetos.  I didn't understand. 
When I told my mother about it she said God helps those who help themselves but even God can't help those who won't try. 
Last year, every graduating high school student at that rez who had a "B" average or higher joined the armed forces.  They'll learn job and managerial skills, self-discipline, discover their capabilities and limitations.  They'll see some of the world.  It's doubtful that they will ever go back to the rez except to visit.  They helped themselves.

One of the differences between the lives of men and women is that men will not, I seriously doubt, ever have to contend with women surreptitiously ogling them and masturbating -- and sometimes not so surreptitiously!  Nor will they ever have a woman tell them they masturbate to their photographs.  Nor will a woman masturbate to the sound of their voice while they are talking on the telephone, or while they are on a job-related video call.  Nor will a woman upload photos of them to a website for other women to comment on and masturbate to. 
But men do all those things to women routinely. I have had every one of those things happen to me and so have my female friends.  I've even had a male acquaintance request photos of me so that he could masturbate to them. I wouldn't be surprised if he sent the same request to every female on his contact list, hoping to get lucky.  Once when I was an undergrad some guy, I don't know who, cut out a photo of me that was in a college-affiliated publication, ejaculated on it and mailed it to me.  You say how can such things happen in the world of "me too"?  Well, as far as I can tell, that's pretty much confined to certain social classes, ones I don't circulate in.
I used to be surprised, alarmed, flattered, frightened, baffled by male actions.  Now I don't care.  If I find out about it, I just shrug. Men.  That's just the way they are.  As long as they don't physically harass or attack you, what does it matter? 
I used to mention to my guy when this happened but he would just laugh.  I think sometimes he got turned on by knowing other guys were hot for me. 
Another sort of man might become jealous or angry, and not necessarily at the male involved but at the woman, accusing her of encouraging the men.  So I'm lucky that mine isn't the jealous type, not that he need be.  But I also accept that he doesn't take such things seriously. 
Maybe it's because he realizes that I don't either.  If I really did, knowing him, I know that he, being a forceful man of action not a talker, would take care of the problem swiftly and permanently.
I have been blatantly sexually harassed from time to time, and not always by men.  That's not because I am some exceptionally desirable piece of merchandise but just because I'm female and guys (and sometimes lesbians or bi's) are always trying their luck with possible sexual partners. 
Everyone knows the joke about the guy who goes up to every woman he sees, says something, gets slapped, but just keeps repeating the action.  When asked what's going on, he says that he's asking the women to have sex with him.  Ninety-nine times out of a hundred they turn him down, but oh, that hundredth time! 
My mother taught me that when a man comes on to you in a way that you don't appreciate or feel is inappropriate, let him know immediately and in no uncertain terms.  You don't have to be rude about it, just make it clear how you feel.  Don't leave him any possibility of thinking that you are okay with his actions. 
Of course, some men can't take "no" for an answer and some men actually enjoy pushing past the "no," enjoying your discomfort or embarrassment, even your fear.  In such cases, a high heel to his foot, a spilled drink or food should give you an opportunity to escape as well as provide a warning that his actions won't be cost-free.  It's best to make what you do appear accidental, especially if the masher, to use an old-fashioned word, is a co-worker, family friend (or relative!) or some other person you have to continue to interact with.  Only if the man persists in his actions, or escalates them, should you involve the authorities. Then do it immediately.  Don't wait. 
But don't expect much from involving them.  In fact, they could even cause you more problems.  The grim truth is that sometimes bad things will happen to you and there is nothing you can do about them except thank God you weren't injured or even killed.
You also may have to accept that the perpetrator will face no punishment and feel no remorse, in fact might happily recall the incident and, who knows, maybe even masturbate to the memory.

 

Sunday, February 6, 2022

HB10?

After almost continual generational changes in what a desirable woman should look like, from bustles and wasp waists to busty, hippy Gibson Girls to flat-chested, boyish flappers to, finally, it seemed, the physically fit but normally proportioned Petty Girl, the appearance of the hot babe gelled.  The below pin-up sports proportions and attire that would seem normal and attractive to a college boy today, even though, were she real, she would be a hundred years old.

But now we are in the midst of a sea change, with sassy, thunder-thighed, floppy-boobed 300-pounders being pushed by the pop culture controllers as the sexiest of all females.  

So it seems that we have gone back to the stone age in our definition of feminine desirability to this --

 -- rather than this --

 



Yeah, well, excuse me for not buying it.  I know what boys like.  And so do you.