Saturday, May 30, 2020

Memorial Day

Wars don't end. Every bullet leaves an exit wound. 
Lives stop, dreams collapse, futures implode.












“What are the children of men, but as leaves that drop at the wind's breath?”
“But now, as it is, sorrows, unending sorrows, must surge within your heart — My spirit rebels — I’ve lost the will to live, to take my stand in the world of men.”
~ Homer, The Iliad 

 Something Grabbed Him
By Gregory Robert Samuels

And then something happened from within
Something grabbed him
Grabbed him by the throat
He began to choke
He fought in frenzy, fighting for his life
He thought it was over, he thought of his wife
He thought death was knocking on his door
Death was close, as it had been so many times before
It can’t be, he began to scream
‘Wake up’ said his wife, ‘it’s only a dream.’


Friday, May 29, 2020

Pop nihilism




Well, sure, in the long run we'll all be pushing up daisies so blah blah.  Old stuff.  Appealing to teen philosophers and assorted retards.
On the other hand, there's my outlook on life:  it's a lovely day, the birds are singing, I had a good breakfast, a homeless guy picking up soda cans said I had a great ass.  I'll enjoy my work day, having a nice lunch and conversation to break it up.
Later in the evening I'll dance to some tunes and otherwise have a pleasant evening, so what me worry?
I guess that's lame, too.  Eat, drink and be merry stuff.  So I'm just a different type of retard.
Whatever. 



Wednesday, May 27, 2020

Ugh!


When you've got a deadline 
but just can't get your thoughts organized and the words don't flow, 
this is how it feels.



Tuesday, May 26, 2020

Indians!

Cheyenne Army Scouts led by Lt. E.W. Casey, December, 1890, during the Ghost Dance troubles.
Cheyenne Scouts sketched by Frederick Remington.
Back among my ancestors is a northern Cheyenne Army Scout.  He served with the 1st Battalion, 22nd Infantry, out of Fort Keogh, Montana.  I still have relatives living in Lame Deer and Ashland, Montana.  I like to visit the area when I can and see the herds of antelope, visit the buffalo preserves, take in the big sky and the endless horizon.  It's all peaceful now, but not all that long ago, as history is reckoned, it was  the scene of legendary battles.
2nd Lt. George Grummond and the Lakota Sioux American Horse.
The poet John Neihard wrote an epic five-volume narrative poem about the plains Indian wars called Cycle of the West.  At one time, it was called the American Iliad.  Now good luck even finding a copy.  The last two volumes were of especial interest to me, and, in particular, the final volume, The Song of the Messiah, which recounts the ending days of it all, with the desperate, pathetic Ghost Dance episode, culminating at Wounded Knee, where my ancestor fought, but with the US Army.  We have a letter of commendation from 22nd Infantry commander Col. Peter Swaine praising his conduct and remarking that he had never known of a Springfield carbine "put to such speedy and accurate use."  I don't know what to feel about that.
 I don't know anything about my ancestor's life other than what is reflected in his service records.  He was paid $25 a month, which doesn't seem like much, but apparently a regular cavalry trooper was paid just $13 a month, so he was making pretty good money, I guess.
Mostly, he would have been scouting against the Sioux, the northern Cheyenne's traditional enemy, although during the fiercest fighting of the plains wars, the Cheyenne and Sioux had been allied, most notably during Red Cloud's War in 1866, which they won, and during the summer campaign of 1876, which they also won.
But by the next year the Army had Cheyenne scouts leading them against the Sioux, which they defeated.  It's a strange story.  And like much of the Indian wars, confusing and, inevitably, sad.  You don't know who to root for.  At least I don't.  Though, of course, it was impossible for the plains Indians to win.  The wheels of history had turned and a new age had dawned, one in which the Indian had no place, except and unless he surrendered his old life, his old ways, his old culture, and adopted the new.  How hard that must have been, and no wonder so many Indians resisted to the bitter end.
But my ancestor bowed to the inevitable and followed the old advice, if you can't beat them, join them.  I suppose it helped that he was fighting against old foes.  But also more recent allies.
I don't know.  It was what it was. 

Negotiating with  hostile Sioux, sketch by Remington. 

 They said that we might hunt our buffalo 
In this our land 
Forever. 
Now they come 
To break that promise. 
Shall we cower, dumb? 
Or shall we say: 
First kill us — here we stand!

~ From Book Five, The Twilight of the Sioux, of
John Neihard's Cycle of the West

Antelope on the Northern Cheyenne reservation.

Busted!

I've had a similar experience with both my mom and dad.
Who hasn't, I suppose, but still it's a funny moment when you
discover the font of all wisdom and sage advice used to be
a wild and crazy guy or a spring-break dancing fool.

Sunday, May 24, 2020

A curious tale

 A short story just a few pages long written by the English novelist John Buchan. 
First published in the January-June,1910, issue of Blackwood's Edinburgh Magazine.
The prose is rich and a pleasure to read. The old half-lovely, half-ugly glory of the pagan world is painted perfectly, and there is a simple grace in how the story fails to make a single, certain conclusion.


The Grove of Ashtaroth

The lines of poetry at the beginning of the story are from Paul Verlaine's poem, Grotesques, collected in Poèmes saturniens, published in 1866The "their" in the first line refers to fantastic figures mocked and avoided by the wise, the foolish, and children.
C'est enfin que dans leurs prunelles
Rit et pleure-fastidieux—
L'amour des choses eternelles
Des vieux morts et des anciens dieux!

Finally, it is in their eyes
that laughs and weeps fastidiously
That love of things eternal,
of the aged dead and ancient gods!

Thursday, May 21, 2020



A sweet but sad song from the 1950s. I can remember my grandmother listening to this song on her old floor model hi-fi record player.  I wonder whatever happened to all her LPs and that stereo?  The stereo was the same vintage as the big 33⅓ records.  Worked fine and sounded great.
Well, for sure, social stigma and public shame were real things back in those days.  Of course, now, who would care?
Overheard: "The peer review system put both Socrates and Jesus to death."


YVW!


So my Ph.D was not a total waste...

Tuesday, May 19, 2020

Hey, I resemble that!


Camus, Dostoevsky and Tolstoy in two minutes.

Dissecting me



Hmm....

The magnet high school I graduated from was only for students with an IQ of 145 or higher, so, if the above test is accurate, I've declined at least one entire standard deviation since I was sweet 16.  Bummer.  But then again, considering all the physical insults my poor brain has suffered, that's not bad.




Haha!

And I'll be the torch singer in a slinky
dress slit up to here!



Sunday, May 17, 2020

A Song for the Age of Corona


I'm sittin' here in the boring room
It's just another rainy Sunday afternoon
I'm wasting my time
I got nothin' to do
I'm hangin' around
 But nothing ever happens and I wonder
                                                       Isolation is not good for me
                                            I wonder how
                                            I wonder why...


Saturday, May 16, 2020

Summertime


A sultry southern summer night, too hot to sleep...



That clarinet's got attitude! And that trumpet...!

Friday, May 15, 2020

From my favorite era


Everyone dressed properly, the men in suits and ties, 
and everyone reading sheet music and 
playing real musical instruments with skill and panache.

Weather and pleasure


“To enjoy bodily warmth, some small part of you must be cold, for there is no quality in this world that is not what it is merely by contrast. Nothing exists in itself. If you flatter yourself that you are all over comfortable, and have been so a long time, then you cannot be said to be comfortable any more. For this reason a sleeping apartment should never be furnished with a fire, which is one of the luxurious discomforts of the rich. For the height of this sort of deliciousness is to have nothing but the blanket between you and your snugness and the cold of the outer air. Then there you lie like the one warm spark in the heart of an arctic crystal.”
Herman Melville



I'm by nature a northern person and can only take hot weather in small doses, especially hot, humid weather.  The cool dampness of the Pacific Northwest, up to and including southeast Alaska, is my ideal climate.  I've lived on tropical isles in the western Pacific and in East Asia and Central Asia.  Tropical isles can be nice because of the trade winds blowing and the frequent rain squalls, but hot, humid East Asia and hot, dry, dusty Central Asia...no thanks.  

And the southeastern states, with all that muggy heat, I can hardly stand to wear clothes.  In a way, there is a certain pleasure in relaxing on the porch of an old house of a southern evening, wearing as little as possible, sipping something with ice and lemons and gin in it, with the night air like black velvet on your skin, listening to crickets, frogs and night birds.
As to what Melville wrote, I agree completely.  Even in winter I sleep with the window open a crack.  Once, I slept in an attic with poorly sealing windows and cracks in the roof through which snow flakes drifted and swirled.  There was a skim of ice in the glass of drinking water on the table by my bed.  I snuggled deep in my down comforter, toasty warm as I watched my breath make clouds.  It was delightful.


Thursday, May 14, 2020

Thank you, Corona-chan!


I've been to a few far away places, no doubt





 “I love to sail forbidden seas, and land on barbarous coasts.”

“It is not down on any map; true places never are.” 

Herman Melville 

Um...what?


I was browsing the comments to some on-line article and came across a couple of guys discussing the practicality of skeet shooting using a 20-pound baby and a machine gun.
What relevance this had to the contents of the article was unclear to me, as was the sanity of the commenters.
This world often completely baffles me.

Sigh...