Saturday, January 28, 2023

Be happy


It's a pretty grim world out there. Each day brings some new incomprehensible horror.  Has the world gone mad?  I don't understand what's going on.  The world wasn't always like this...was it?
Well, there's nothing I can do about it, so I'm adopting my father's viewpoint about all that happens in the outside world:  it's just a dull background roar.  Tune it out. Ignore it.  I'll just stay on the family freehold, and feed and banter with the hands, cheer them up and try to make their days have at least a few pleasant moments, play with my mini me and house apes, train and educate them as best I can, try to be a good friend and companion, a worthwhile helpmeet, lend a helping hand to those who need it whenever and however I can.  That's all I can do.

 My theme song these days --

 


Saturday, January 21, 2023

If the story of your life had a first line, what would it be?

These days, sitting in my straight-backed chair waiting for my bones to knit, often just staring at the floor when I get tired of looking out the window watching the shadows rotate slowly, shortening as the morning climbs up to noon, then lengthening as the afternoon slides toward evening, I feel like Christopher Walken in this video.  In my mind, I, too, stand uncertainly, then begin to dance without restraint. (I know this is not the original version of the video but I can't stand the original's music -- so sue me! I prefer this tune.) Plus Christopher Walken is just too cool for school.

 

We've had a break in the storms. Finally.  It seems odd to see the sky instead of a gray ceiling of soggy stratus.  The sunny days make me restless and eager to get back in shape and start doing things.  At least when the weather was miserable I could console myself with the fact that even if I were well I would still be stuck indoors.  But now....  And while I sit, careful not to make any sudden moves, my mind riots and thinks about all sorts of things, dipping into daydreams and fantasy.

My uncle and my cousin came to visit me and after chatting about this and that for a few minutes, I guess to cheer me up or take my mind off my present condition, my uncle suggested that once I was all healed up we could all go dancing in the big city, and I said great, we could stay at that same hotel and have a threesome!  I don't know why I said what I meant that way.  I meant...well, I don't know exactly what I meant, I was just uttering verbal Styrofoam.  But the look on their faces -- astonishment, concupiscence, uncertainty...I actually laughed at their reactions. I thought about saying I was only kidding, but it was so funny to see them wondering if I was serious that I didn't.  I think my uncle pretty quickly realized I was, because he shook his head and smiled wryly at me, but my cousin really seemed to think I might mean it.  As if.  After they took their leave, my cousin quite reluctantly, giving me a last lingering look -- I must have seemed so sexy in my old sweat pants and zip-up sweat shirt -- my mother, who had been in the next room and obviously heard what I said, came in and gave me a look that clearly said that she couldn't believe that she had given birth to a complete moron.  I shrugged, then winced with pain.  Damn.  Anyway, it was just a lame joke.  But as she has told me over and over again, and as I very well know, you absolutely cannot joke with men about sex.  But it's fun to do so.  Most guys know it's just banter.  But occasionally there's a weirdo or creep who doesn't get it.  So the wise thing to do is keep your sense of humor knees jammed together.

That evening I voice-messaged with el jefe -- I've been telling him Skype is not working for some reason, as I don't want him to see me until I'm all better -- and mentioned the incident.  He thought it was hilarious and said if I actually did it to be sure to make a video and send him a copy, it would be like a Three Stooges sex tape.  I knew he would say something like that.  He always does.  He gets a kick out of knowing men...well, you know.  I guess for him it's like guys envying the car he has or whatever.  Anyway, he's not the jealous type -- not that he need be; I'm too much of a germophobe to do anything like that.  I talk the talk but don't walk the walk.  What would I gain from doing something like that anyway?  I already have what I really want.

But I am thinking do I really want to live on the ranch.  Maybe just part time.  In this winter weather my condo in the south seas does beckon to me most seductively.  But I have too many obligations, too many people depending on me, to pack my seabag and hitchhike off into the sunset.  Maybe in 15 years or so.  Maybe.

Relaxing in the Guam condo pool admiring Two Lover's Point in the distance.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Oh, what would the first line of the story of my life be?  I don't know.  Hmm.  How about, "Here's your sign"?  But I suppose that would be the last line.

Or --

"Call me Wanda."  “As Wanda awoke one morning from uneasy dreams she found herself transformed into a monstrous vermin.” "In a hole in the ground there lived Wanda." "All this happened, more or less."  "Wanda, light of my life, fire of my loins."  "All children except one grow up." "She was born with a gift of laughter and a sense that the world was mad."  "Last night I dreamed I went to Afghanistan again."  "They shoot the white girl first."  "When I wake up, the other side of the bed is cold." "This is the saddest story I have ever heard." "In the beginning, sometimes I left messages in the street." "Wanda can see the color of time: it's blue."

All those are first lines from actual novels (some slightly modified. Duh.)  Do you recognize any of them?

Do you know what the first line of the story of your life would be?

 "There is no big picture. There is only this particular moment in this particular life."
~ Amy Bloom

 

 

Sunday, January 15, 2023

Happy days...

 ... ?

Oh, my Lord!  I'm beginning to miss the Navy!

The fun part

You can always dance, wherever you are, whatever you have to do.  
It makes life more enjoyable. So bust a move!


The hard part

Don't give up on yourself.  If the other guy or gal can do it, so can you.

 

The serious part 

Jesus Christ!

 

 

The bad part

Um... I forget....


Thursday, January 12, 2023

The Question

 


"It is not only what we have inherited that exists again in us but all sorts of dead old ideas and beliefs.  They are not actually alive in us but they are dormant and we can never be rid of them.  There must be ghosts all over the world."
~ from the play Ghosts by Henrik Ibsen

 We are all haunted by the past and the people who lived in it; all the things we never said, all the questions we never asked, all the answers we never gave; the things we did and the things we didn't do, the love we gave and the love we withheld, the feelings we expressed and the ones we didn't even know we had.  
We thought there would always be time for all that, we thought we would live forever and there would always be time because we would never die.

"The Question," first broadcast by CBS Radio Mystery Theater on November 5, 1980.

 



Wednesday, January 11, 2023

A Good life

 Still limited in my ability to get around and mostly stuck sitting bolt upright, trying not to move my upper body too much, I've been thinking a lot about my time in Guam and my life in the Navy.  I suppose recalling those tropical days in Guam is at least partially an escape from the terrible winter weather we have been having.  Blizzard after blizzard.  Our stocks of hay to feed the cattle -- they need to eat a lot more in weather like this to keep warm -- are running low and there's very little to be had for sale: everybody needs it, and the prices are rising with demand: in some cases, there are bidding wars for it.  So if the price of your T-bone goes up this summer, don't be surprised.  

The men are working overtime trucking the hay out to the range lands, rescuing and tending to frozen cow brutes. We've already lost some.  It's all a lot of brutal hard work in raging wind, blowing snow piling into drifts blocking roads and gates and freezing cold.  In some places slides block the roads, so out come the front loaders, dozers, excavators, power shovels and dump trucks. Man against nature, a fight for survival.  It really is. And I can't even help warm the guys up with some good hot grub and gallons of strong coffee when they can make it back to the cookhouse.  Rats.

So here I sit dreaming of Guam and thinking what a good life I had in the Navy and how glad I was to serve.  I heard recently that one of the Afghani women I helped train in handling severe wounds, especially head wounds, has been hanged by the Taliban.  She was pregnant at the time.

Sigh.  This world....

Well, here's a little video tour of Guam and the Navy facilities.


And here is one of my favorite enlistment ads for the Navy, a part of the controversial "a force for good" campaign.  I don't know why it was controversial.  I think it's true.  I guess it wasn't blood-and-guts, we-blow-stuff-up-real-good macho enough. Phooey!

By the way, the man behind the campaign was Admiral  Huan Nguyen.  You probably have never heard of him but you almost certainly have seen a photo intimately connected with him.  It's the picture of the instant a Viet Cong is executed by pistol shot to the temple by a South Vietnamese policeman.  Yeah, that one.  Well, the man executed, Van Lem Nguyen, had just hours previously murdered the admiral's entire family.  He broke into their house with a squad of Viet Cong and tortured and murdered  then nine-year-old Huan's father, mother, his five brothers, his sister and his grandmother.  Huan himself was shot three times, including in the head and left for dead.  His mother lived for two hours after the attack and Huan stayed by her side trying to stop the bleeding from her cut throat until she died.  Why did the Viet Cong do this?  Huan's father was a ranking officer in the ARVN.  Reason enough.

When Saigon fell in 1975, Huan was evacuated to Camp Asan, Guam, now Asan Beach Park.  In an interview upon his retirement from the Navy as a flag officer last summer, Huan said, “The images that I remember vividly when I arrived at Camp Asan were of American sailors and Marines toiling in the hot sun, setting up tents and chow hall, distributing water and hot food, helping and caring for the people with dignity and respect. I thought to myself how lucky I am to be in a place like America. Those sailors inspired me to later serve in the United States Navy.”  Which he did, having a long and distinguished career.  I think this one-minute ad, if you can call it an ad; it seems so much more than that to me, expresses his feelings for "America's Navy" very well.



Monday, January 9, 2023

Dancing the blues away

 When I'm able to dance again, I am going to go down to the rec room when nobody is home and go to that big old stereo with the gigantic floor and wall-mounted speakers that produces the most beautiful, rich, full-bodied sound outside of a live orchestra, and I am going to load it up with a bunch of silly old-time love songs that you can lose yourself dancing to, turn up the volume, and I am going to dance until I can't dance anymore.  Just be a dancing fool.  I won't dress up, just wear what I usually wear around the house and the ranch, so I can just be me with no need to anticipate the expectations of others or make myself attractive to them.  Just goofy old me hopping and jumping around, swinging and swaying, rocking and rolling.  And you know what?  For as long as I am dancing, I won't be thinking.  I will just be.


Friday, January 6, 2023

I'm still a Guambat!

 I spent some of the happiest days of my life in Guam.  I do yet remember it and all the people I met there fondly.  I still own an ocean-front condo in Tamuning.  It used to be a hotel but went bust in the Asian economic crash of '97 and was converted into condominiums.  I still harbor vague plans to retire there in my old age to bask in the warm tropical sun and wade in the warm tropical waters.

The island has been dominated by the US military, especially the Navy which for decades after the Spanish-American War controlled the island.  The Navy built a reservoir so the island has a permanent fresh water supply, as well as roads, health clinics, schools, etc.  -- the Spanish never bothered.  The most notable thing the Spanish ever did was, after the native Guamanians revolted against their rule, they killed ever male, man and boy, on the island, leaving only women and girls alive to be their servants and concubines.

Liberation Day, July 21, which celebrates the American reconquest of the island from the Japanese, is Guam's biggest holiday.  The Japanese occupation, short as it was, was horrifying in its brutality and is not forgotten.  I think that on a percentage basis, more Guamanians join the armed forces than any other group except American Indians, mostly the Navy, same as the Indians. 

Despite the American armed forces presence, nowadays tourism is the most important business of the island.  Millions of Japanese, Koreans, Chinese and Russians visit annually.  The Japanese and Koreans mostly consist of honeymoon couples who stay a few days.  The Chinese usually stay a couple of weeks and the Russians may stay for a month or more, avoiding the harsh Siberian winter weather.  The beaches near the big hotels and shopping areas where the tourists teem are usually all that the visitor sees, but the beaches accessible from Big Navy and Anderson AFB, as well as the off-the-beaten-track local beaches, are practically pristine and on a weekday morning or at midday are deserted.  Even on busy weekends, compared to the beach scene at the resort areas of the island, the base beaches are practically empty. 

The joke is that should the Chinese or Russians nuke the island, they would kill more of their own countrymen than American military -- there are only about 20,000 stationed there, mostly submariners and support personnel at Big Navy.  Andersen Air Force Base hosts units that rotate in and out on a short-term basis, so the big bombers are still based in CONUS.  The Marine air comes down from Iwakuni in Japan for short stays as well and the Navy air wings are on visiting aircraft carriers.  From what I understand, the Army, in conjunction with the Navy, is building a multi-layered missile defense system.

Filipinos are a big presence on the island and seem to run most of the businesses, except the strip joints and prostitution, which are run by the Koreans.  These cater to the tourists, not the locals or military.  They bring in some "talent" from Korea, but mostly they lure naive Micronesian girls from other islands with promises of office jobs and the like, only to force them into prostitution, keeping them as virtual slaves.  The local Guam government and police don't seem to care.  Chinese are notorious for kidnapping women, drugging them and shipping them back to China to work as prostitutes.  When I was there, the Navy put out a warning memo to female personnel to always walk on the inside of sidewalks close to buildings and be alert for vans that might pull up beside you.  That was a typical kidnapping method, a van pulling up beside a woman, the door opening and men jumping out and grabbing her.  On the other islands, Chinese and Korean fishing fleets were notorious for kidnapping local girls, including children, to keep aboard ship as sex slaves.  When they were returning to their home port they would throw the women overboard so there was no evidence of any crime.

Gosh, here I've gone and talked about a lot of negative stuff about Guam, but nothing bad ever happened to me there, and every day had its moments of sheer delight.  The water inside the reef was clear, and never seemed cooler than 80 degrees and often was much warmer  It was full of colorful sea creatures, too,  and some scary ones -- sea snakes and sharks and giant manta rays, but only the rays seemed to be common. The air was usually in the eighties, too, with 80-some percent humidity.  And when the frequent showers sparkled down from the blue sky full of billowing cumulus clouds it was about 80 degrees, too.  You could go for a swim and when you entered the water it wasn't a cold shock and when you came out of the water the air did not feel chilly, nor did it feel hot, with the sand burning your feet, forcing you to skip up the beach to get under some shade.

Of course, there were some big thunderstorms in the afternoons.  The clouds would billow up into giant towers, the sky would grow dark and then the rain would come down in big warm drops.  It was actually a pleasure to stand in it; it was like taking a shower with the whole sky your shower head.  If you were outside walking in casual clothes, you were probably already soaking wet with sweat, so getting washed clean by the rain left you no wetter than you were before.

Guam does get hit by typhoons, sometimes record-breakers.  But the building codes have long taken those big winds into account and the there is never much damage beyond some downed trees and power lines, and the usual low-lying flooding.  Houses are made of cement, as are the power and telephone poles. I actually enjoyed watching the typhoons rage from my condo, high above the flying debris and with a good view out to the reef and beyond, to see the spectacular waves, the coconut trees bending almost flat in the raging wind, and always, always, somebody walking around outside simply glorying in the power of the storm.

Away from the tourists, a lot of Guam is still
undeveloped jungle and grassland, and there is plenty of hiking to be done, boonie stomping as we called it, sometimes to beautiful secret places, more often well known but hard to reach spots that take some effort to get to.  It was not hard to find relics of the fighting on the island during World War II, everything from Japanese sake bottles to crashed airplanes.  If you came across an old hand grenade or mortar shell it was best to give it a wide birth. I always enjoyed the hikes, but you were guaranteed to get muddy, hot and sweaty, so it was good to hike to a water fall and enjoy its cool mists and wade in the pools at its base.  Wouldn't you like to do that, too?


 


Wednesday, January 4, 2023

Tidbits through time

 Some old photos...

Just married, 1909.


Kids get a bath every Saturday whether they need it or not.  Stove is made from an old 55-gallon drum.






 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Get a horse!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

You can ranch, mine, enlist or work on the railroad....

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  

Or operate heavy equipment in dangerous terrain.



You get ahead by studying and education.


Our own Carnegie library!  Thanks, Andy!


Lunch counter during the Depression.
Lady Lex sailors on liberty, Panama Canal Zone, 1939.



 

 

 

 

 

 

Coffee break, Navy style.  You better like it black.

 

It's war with the dirty Japs!

 

Pilot's ready room, USS Lexington, early 1942.
Good order and discipline!
Advancing under fire, Okinawa, 1945.

 

 

 









Driving from Atsugi to Otemachi after the Japanese surrender.  The Japanese soldier facing away is a mark of respect to the conqueror.  We thought it was a snub.


Let's watch this new type of radio with pictures called television.  The future is here! 1949.