... through others' minds...
“But as God said,
crossing his legs,
I see where I have made plenty of poets
but not so very much
poetry.”
―
“The walls of books around him, dense with the past, formed a kind of insulation against the present world and its disasters.”
―
“I went to the library. I looked at the magazines, at the pictures in
them. One day I went to the bookshelves, and pulled out a book. It was
Winesburg, Ohio.. I sat at a long mahogany table and began to read. All
at once my world turned over. The sky fell in. The book held me. The
tears came. My heart beat fast. I read until my eyes burned. I took the
book home. I read another Anderson. I read and I read, and I was
heartsick and lonely and in love with a book, many books, until it came
naturally, and I sat there with a pencil and a long tablet, and tried to
write, until I felt I could not go on because the words would not come
as they did in Anderson, they only came like drops of blood from my
heart.”
―
“So black was the way ahead that my progress consisted of long periods
of inert despondency punctuated by spasmodic lurches forward towards any
small chink of light that I thought I saw...As the years went by, it
did not get lighter but I became accustomed to the dark”
―
“I wanted so badly to lie down next to her on the couch, to wrap
my arms around her and sleep. Not fuck, like in those movies. Not even
have sex. Just sleep together in the most innocent sense of the phrase.
But I lacked the courage and she had a boyfriend and I was gawky and she
was gorgeous and I was hopelessly boring and she was endlessly
fascinating. So I walked back to my room and collapsed on the bottom
bunk, thinking that if people were rain, I was drizzle and she was
hurricane.”
―
“Someday no one will remember that she ever existed, I wrote in my
notebook, and then, or that I did. Because memories fall apart, too.
And then you're left with nothing, left not even with a ghost but with
its shadow. In the beginning, she had haunted me, haunted my dreams, but
even now, just weeks later, she was slipping away, falling apart in my
memory and everyone else's, dying again.”
―
“Don't you know who you love, Pudge? You love the girl who makes you
laugh and shows you porn and drinks wine with you.”
―
>
