My last post

 

I'm thinking about wrapping up my blogging era and shutting down this, my last iteration of my first blog.  I began blogging in February of 2006 so next month will mark 20 years of jotting down my random thoughts and interests.  And my profile view count just hit 77,000, a figure that astonishes me: how could so many people have any interest in me?

I never meant to achieve anything by blogging, certainly not make money or become, as they say these days, an "influencer." It was just me writing this and that because I enjoy writing the same way I enjoy cooking or crocheting or playing the piano.

I see I've got over 100 unpublished -- and unfinished -- blog posts sitting in my draft file.  I guess there they will stay. Some I put a lot of work into but felt I needed to do more, other subjects became too depressing and I gave up on them, and a lot of them I got interrupted while writing and when I was able to get back to them I had lost my train of thought. 

Well, I want to thank you guys who have stuck with me all these years.  I know some of you have been here since the very beginning.  We've grown up and grown old together.  How could all this time have passed? Just like snapping your fingers it was all gone.  Some of you  have died.  Remember the Three Musketeers? Robby?  Ishtaria?

Yes, I know I quit once before and then came back after a while, and maybe that will happen again.  But I think not this time.  Life has beaten me down.  I've always fought back against fate, but I've finally surrendered, and with surrender comes ... shutting the mind down.  

From now on I will just focus on the days as they come, my children and my husband.  There is no one else and nothing else.  

So, I guess this is it.  Maybe I'll see you around.  Have a good one! 

 

Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow,

Creeps in this petty pace from day to day,

To the last syllable of recorded time;

And all our yesterdays have lighted fools

The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle!

Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player,

That struts and frets his hour upon the stage,

And then is heard no more. It is a tale

Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,

Signifying nothing. 

~ William Shakespeare, Macbeth, Act V, Scene V

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Good-bye

  “We are not living in eternity. We have only this moment, sparkling like a star in our hand―and melting like a snowflake.”
― Sir Francis Bacon 

 

And when life's sweet fable ends,
Soul and body part like friends;
No quarrels, murmurs, no delay;
A kiss, a sigh, and so away.  
--Richard Crashaw

 

Good-bye M, Good-bye.  It hurts so much.  I miss you so. I should have helped you.  I should have.  I should have. 

 

"Now that I have toiled and strayed so far over the world, am I to sleep, and let the earth cover my head forever? Let my eyes see the sun until they are dazzled with looking. Although I am no better than a dead man, still let me see the light of the sun."
~ Gilgamesh

"All living creatures born of the flesh shall sit at last in the boat of the West, and when it sinks, they are gone."
~ Gilgamesh

Wet in the windy counties of the dawn
The lone crow skirls his draggled passage home:
And God (whose sparrows fall aslant his gaze,
Like grace or confetti) blinks and he is gone.
~ Thomas McGrath

  I measure every grief I meet
With analytic eyes;
I wonder if it weighs like mine,
Or has an easier size.

I wonder if it hurts to live,
And if they have to try,
And whether--could they choose between--
It would not be to die.
--Emily Dickinson 

  I am the chosen no hand saves
 --Louise Bogan

 Of course I prayed--
and did God care?
He cared as much as if in the air
a bird had cried 'Give me,'
and stamped her foot!
--Emily Dickinson